Loss

The phrase "sometimes you don't know what you've got until you've lost it" has been in my mind lately...

You lose your keys, your address book, your wallet, your phone, your phone charger (or three of them!?), your hairbrush, your socks (darn the dryer!), your shoes, or at least A shoe of the pair you're looking for... You lose track of time, track of what you were doing, you lose train of thought, you lose words, you lose a moment, you lose sleep, chances... You lose a document, a picture, a folder, a file. ... You lose your mind, your childhood, memories... marbles... You have loss in death... in love... in distance...

What is loss for a child? A missing toy, a missing shoe, a missing cup, a forgotten about trip to the park, a missed meal, a missed chance to go see Mickey Mouse live or not, a lost cup, a skipped nap (oy!), an afternoon playdate, tv time...

What about an infant? Lose the milk supply when it's taken away, lose the warm clothes when they are taken off, lose hands that were holding, legs that were bouncing...

What about now? ... are we in a society that constantly gives and takes and expects to be given and catered to, do we realize what we're losing? All the time. We lose each and every today as it becomes tomorrow...

I don't really know why this is on my mind, but all today I've been thinking about the things I take for granted and the TIME I take for granted. I have been humbled lately by the amount of time I WASTE-- thus losing it.

Titus chapter 2 keeps screaming in my head. There are listed specific guidelines for what the older women should be teaching the younger women about how to live....

The NIV says "to be busy in the home" Titus 2:5 "to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God".

The NKJ version says to be a "homemaker" Titus 2:5 "to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."

The Message says to "keep a good house" Titus 2:5 "be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior."

Once in a message that the pastor's wife was giving in a small group bible study, she stressed how it's our job as women to provide a "safe haven" for our husbands. I'll never forget that choice of words. Safe Haven.

Why do I spend all this time wasting it... losing the chance to make my home a haven for my husband? I don't know the answer that's for sure. Instead I have dishes in the sink, laundry (some folded) strewn across the dining room table, the kitchen desperately needing sweeping, the litter box needing scooping, the beds needing making... I wasted the afternoon watching junk on the tv, I lost time I could have been bonding with my older son and teaching him to Mickey Mouse's Club house. I lost time bonding with my younger son to the comfort of the swing instead of lounging laying on mommy. I am losing my mind with all the things I'm thinking about. I feel like I'm losing time with weight stuff, as the doc today told me to wait another 2-3 weeks before attempting anything structured weight or exercise wise. I also know a lot of what I do is UP to me. So just shut up and do it, right? Whatever the "it" is... While I'm worried about my dad and I'm worried about my cat (totally stupid separate issue) and the worry stems from actually LOSING either of them.... .... what can I really DO about it?

Nothing.

So I will sit here and focus my energy into the universe about a lot of nothing.