Yesterday

This is copy and pasted from a word document, written yesterday (Monday):

Hello Blogging world again from the hospital… As I write this, I have a pulse-o-meter thing in my index finger keeping track of oxygen. I’ve had an IV in my arm, for the past two or three hours… I have about five blankets on and hospital slipper socks. … sigh. Oh annoyance of all mr. blood pressure cuff, currently taking his turn. I’m hitting the backspace a lot, if you’re wondering.

I should have already been in surgery two hours ago, but--- did I mention today that I’m still Dori?... my doctor never showed up, so they let an hour long (or more) procedure go ahead of me. I’ll be laying here for another hour at least, waiting my turn. Thank goodness for Jamie’s laptop… and the sweet nurse who went and got him, when I was near tears asking if he knew that I was in fact okay, and that the surgery hadn’t even started yet. … Oh Yes, that’s right… I’m going to be repeating my D&C again today. Oh the joys....

At my doctor’s appt this morning, I had an exam, blood work and an u/s confirming exactly nothing. They don’t know for sure if there is anything still inside me, but the chances are from the white mass shown on the u/s that it’s either a blot clot or some tissue left from the baby or placenta. Just great. Fabulous. Soooo here I am.

I haven't eaten at all all day not one bite, I’m so hungry I could eat anything and yet I can’t have any food be/c though I should be done with my surgery already, we haven’t started yet…. b/c my doc hasn’t showed up yet. The same doctor who I messed his schedule up three weeks ago, yah, he’s the one now making me STARVE currently

Okay enough about food.

That’s really all I guess, I just wanted to blog this and get my thoughts out there. Course, there’s not internet available but I’ll post these thoughts soon enough.

Thank you to N who’s watching my sweet boys right now and to K as she tries to rally help for the rest of the week. I’m yet again at the mercy of others. It’s a hard but humbling place to be.

That's all for now, it's too hard to type like this.