What is a father? A grandfather? ... the first basic answer is that a father is a man who has a child. And a grandfather is one whose child has had a child. But what makes a father really a father? Or... a dad? Or... a daddy? I remember a gift I once gave my dad for some such holiday that says something to the effect of: "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad" ...what's neat is that this plaque hangs on the wall as you enter my parents' bedroom. I don't know how often he looks at it. But it catches my eye each time I leave their room. And it makes me smile. I think this is very true... Anyone can father a child and become a father. But it takes someone so special to truly be a dad. It takes someone so loving and wonderful to be a daddy.
I thank the Lord God every day and give Him all the glory for my dad's physical health and continued healing. His PSA counts have been lowering and lowering. The last three results have been .6, 1.0 and then my mom just told me the most recent one was another 1.0 down down down! It's going down! I'm so grateful for these results and more so for every single moment he is allowed to remain on this earth. We spent a lot of my childhood and teen years at odds with one another. He didn't know me. I couldn't approach him. He seemed so far away. So distant. ....We spent a lot of my young adult life disagreeing and then I moved so far away... and the line of communication got even more distant. BUT! (Do you hear the choir singing?! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!) BUT!!!! over the past couple years, I've never felt closer to my dad--or more loved by him. I know he's proud of me. I know he loves me--ever so much more than I knew or understood. I know he adores his grandchildren. I know most of all, and most rewarding of all that he is a born again baptised believer int he Lord Jesus Christ and I am so thankful that he is my daddy. He is strong and hugable. He is proud and broken. He is no longer angry. He carries a tender spirit of peace about him. He is loving and forgiving. He is gentle and encouraging. He is saved by grace and washed clean and made new by the blood of the Lamb.
( Besides dad's obvious changes, I too have been growing more and more each passing year. I'm trying to root myself strongly in the Word. I am trying to be more mellow about things I once stood strongly about--things that truly don't matter. I try to show kindness and politeness where I go. I aim to use manners and gentleness. I have long sense tried to take a crusted over brick of grudges off my shoulder so that I can be more lovable and more friendly. It's hard to raise your own children to be kind... when being kind is a challenge for you, huh? )
There is nothing so sweet and powerful to hear than a large and strong sweet male voice praising the Risen Savior without restraint. Over the past two years, whenever I am able to attend church with my parents... with my dad, and hear him lift his voice in worship, I can not stop the tears from forming. It is so beautiful. To see him boldly come --early even-- to the throne room is such a joy and a privilege. To have the boys know that all their grandparents go to church, and not know any differently is joy to my heart. As parents, it's our joy--mine and Jamie's--to raise these boys up in the ways of the Lord, to learn the truth of His Word and to help them to live it out. For them to see their grandparents, especially their grandfathers do this is blessings in my life. And I couldn't imagine a father's day without my dad now that I've truly found him in my life!
So, instead of the boys spending this (and last) Father's Day with their own daddy: my sweet and wonderful, charming husband let me go be with my daddy. The boys celebrated Father's day with their grandpa the second year in a row. I cherish this special time. I know that each day, each month, each year is a gift. Last summer, after my dad made it to and through my sister's wedding, it seemed he was invincible. Then things got worse. Counts got high and it seemed unfair. But I believe through prayer and petition to God from so many, my dad's days are being lengthend by God's grace. He's doing better and better now. He's so darn handsome. Oh my daddy is so handsome. I keep waiting for his beautiful hair to fall out or something that you associate cancer patients with, but it doesn't. Each time I see him, he's just more handsome than the last. And I'm so blessed to have such a husband that allows me to travel with his children away from him for so long to come and visit with my parents... to spend that special craved time with my daddy. What do we do that's so special? I donno. We watch a lot of movies together. We laugh. Everything's funny some nights... it's just so nice to be with him. To be close to him. To have the boys know him. A sickness of any kind, makes you so thankful for what you do have. And what we do have is wonderful.
This year, we were joined on Father's Day by my best friend and heart's sister, Nic, and her two cuties. Her sweet and loving husband also graciously sent her to spend Father's day not with him, but with my dad... whom she's claimed and her kids call Grandpa Paul. We had a lovely time together this past weekend. I'm so blessed by both Jamie and John's selflessness to allow us this sweet gift of time for us and for my daddy.
So, what's a daddy I asked? ....
Someone who loves you like you are their very own...
Grandpa (Grandpa Paul) with his (five) little blessings
on this year's Father's Day.
