Potty Training 101

You know there are just some things that no one ever discusses with you.  When you 12 or 15 and are dreaming about some day becoming a mom... there are just things no one discusses with you. No one says to the cute kid of then that some day she'll have places on her body she wont recognize or some day she'll wonder where her twenties went or that being a mother is code for being on call 100 hours a day for any possible reason or cause. It means neglecting your schedule for someone's sniffles or blisters or fever. It means an endless cycle of dishes and laundry that some how seem to mate and produce more dishes and laundry every load. It means sleep is for yester-years because there is no sleeping after you have children. No one tells the dreamy eyed unsuspecting teenager that she'll be peed on, puked on, farted on, perhaps pooped on, jumped on and any other number of painful or gross things... and that my friends is where this late night rambling leads to.  Not one person ever told me about the amount of bottom problems these children have.  Problems, if you will, that they themselves can not handle on their own, that is of course for you to handle, you being the parent.

For example, someone--who will remain nameless-- wet his bed again last night.  Hmm, on soccer nights when we drink 2 full water bottles, we apparently lose the ability to get up and go to the bathroom! (oops, did that give it away?) So four of the five Hobbs were awake at 1:20am dealing with wet sheets for the afflicted bed. Which resulted in him sleeping on a sleeping bag on his bed--thrilled him, whatever. And the other one thinking it was time to get up and play. But since he's also potty training these days, he needed to go take a turn on the potty.  Did I mention that? No?

Well he'll be 4 in December and I'm hoping we're successful in our attempts before then. We shall see. He's been doing a good job about it. I'd say where in the 60-40% standing lately. Here's a Mark funny for you though, we were at soccer and he said he needed to go, and the only thing available is a port-a-potty. Jamie opened the door... and Mark says "well. uhhhh. I think I wait until we go home."  Smart kid, huh?

If I were to put together a Potty Training 101 list... here would be some of the things I'd say.  Even though, I probably wouldn't say them because who talks about this stuff in person right? right.

1. All the crazy people who say "oh, he should be potty trained by now" should be smacked. Seriously. Just smack them. Or don't really, but just walk on past them.  I'm learning that much like the nursing or bottles controversy  people have high standards and lots of opinions about potty training. But I'm learning that there is no special time or magic number. They will "be potty trained" when they are good and ready.  I decided Matthew was "old enough" and I battled him tooth and  nail about it. I have not pushed the issue with Mark even though MANY people have flapped their mouths about it and he's finally interested in training and we're moving forward. He's been in pull ups for a week now and he's pretty proud of himself. I do believe any earlier for him would have been a waste (or torture) of my time.  Don't let anyone pressure you into training. IT IS NOT WORTH BATTLING. A friend of mine has a child same age as Micah who's potty trained already. I sometimes think she's a fairy tale walking around in a real person's body, but that's fantastic for her. In the end though... if my kids are out of diapers before they go to college, I'll be glad with that.

2. Accidents happen. Spare yourself the Elmo video. The "Accidents Happen" song will be in your head the rest of your ever lovin' life! But. It is the truth. Accidents Happen. And there is nothing you can do about it. (Micah peed on the couch tonight... awesome. thank you.)  Try to not raise your voice. That's equally pointless and in fact makes the situation worse. (Sadly this is from trial and error again... it's that learning curve. The poor defenseless first borns get all that trial and error stuff).  Mark has started hanging his head in shame when he's not made it to the potty fast enough. Oh my heart can't stand it. I'm trying to take the shame out of it and just make the rewards great for the good stuff. High fives, stickers, candy... whatever it takes to make him feel good. But without the shame involved!

3. .... well... I can't think of a three... so I guess I only have two bullet points for this lesson. Ha ha! Oh well. I'm in a season of washing sheets constantly, but there is probably light down this tunnel at some point. Potty Training is just one of those stages moms have to go through. At some point all these people will be in underwear and I'm sure I'll wonder where the diaper days went. Not today, but maybe some day.