Last night we got Matthew a harness for the airport next week. I've been a little nervous about it since I can't strap him to me in the baby front carrier anymore for crowded places like that.
It's amazing how your perspective changes as you parent your child(ren). Ask me two years ago, pre-Matthew, if I'd ever have my kids on a harness and I'd have laughed out loud. "No way" would have been my reply. I'd see
those moms in the malls and think to myself. 'That's just lazy. I don't understand why they can't keep track of their kids.' But then, my best friend got one. And my perspective changed some at that point. My friend wasn't lazy. She just flat out didn't want her kid running off-- there comes a point when the stroller doesn't work at all times and the words "Mind Momma" doesn't seem to penetrate little ears. I've watched her in a handful of harnessed situations and thought "I'm so glad that works for her"... all the while still thinking that wouldn't be for me. Until about a week ago that is...
Within the past week I'd noticed total strangers at walmart with their kids harnessed... and the kids didn't seem to mind it. Were these parents lazy or were they trying to be able to keep the children near? I began exploring the possibility of NEEDING something to keep Matthew near me at the airport. Also at church Wed night, my mind was nearly made up. A mom of three had her youngest one harnessed up-- at church! Again, a year ago I might have thought "oh my, that poor baby must be uncontrollable." Yet, that wasn't the case at all. This tot was given the freedom to not have to be held, and yet the security to know that mom's nearby. She and I chatted for a few moments about it. She said it's wonderful because people might not be looking for a toddler in the crowd, but people notice the harness strap and he's not stepped on or bumped into nearly as much she said.
That was that. We were going to get one. That is... I was. Jamie still didn't have the same newly found convictions I'd had. He wasn't so sure about it. For this particular situation, couldn't Matthew be in the stroller up until security check point and then go right back in? Well, in theory, yes. But in my nightmares, I see myself getting him out of the stroller, saying "Mind Momma, stay here" to collapse the stroller, and poof! He's gone. Plus what about the waiting once we get to the gate? I remember one such trip-- He'd done nicely through security. But DID NOT want back into the stroller afterwards. Ha! a joke right, put ME back into that thing. So I was able to strap him to me, put the bags in the stroller and press on. Once we got to the gate, I made a triangle with me, the stroller and a window and he was able to play a bit without being contained yet again. Confinement happens long enough ON the plane.
All in all, we did get the harness yesterday. And not sure how Matthew would take to the harness, I thought I'd see how he took to wearing it a couple times before next Friday. In my head I saw us trying it for a while if he fought me each time, until he didn't fight me. But, I don't think we'll have a problem with it-- as he LOVED it. We let him choose which one out of the two on the shelf, a monkey or a dog-- he kind of touched both of them and then started talking to the dog so we put the monkey back. He hugged it and talked to it all through the store, handed it to the cashier with reservations. He held it still in the box in the car and once we got home after out of the package, he totted it around, dragged it with the tail, and eventually let me put it on him. He very much enjoyed leading me around the house. When I tried to take it off, he let me but then said "nother on" and we put it back on for a while. He even went to bed holding his new "doggie!" (I took the tail off so he couldn't strangle himself.)
Who would have ever thought...
It's amazing as a non-mother what your thoughts and comments can be. And it's a total different ballgame when your parenting mind takes over. I wish I could go back and undo the silent judgmental comments to the moms I have seen along the way with harnessed children. Do I think I'm going to put Matthew into the harness to be lazy? of course not. Do I think I'd put Matthew in the harness so that I didn't pay as much attention to him without it. again, of course not. Do I think my child is so wild that he has to be restrained? again, NO! And now I also am aware that I may get concerned looks from those who don't "get it" but that will be okay. Because I now know that as we make preparations for the upcoming trip, I'm going to be a much more attentive mom without stress of losing my son in the crowd.
