Goals

I know everyone and their mother is posting New Years Resolutions right now. I can't even remember what I wrote about last year, sad to say, huh? (I'll probably go check that out after I post this for curiosity sake). A couple nights ago I wrote several goals down for the new year. I wont say that they are resolutions so much as just goals. Goals seem like a nicer word. Something you hope to accomplish. A resolution sounds like a must. It's something you're going to do. Well, I know myself well enough that most resolutions wont be kept. So... here are some goals I made for this new year.

1. Deliver a healthy full term baby. Definitely the first goal for the year-- however it's something I have no say over. I can do my best to give my baby the best odds: eating health(ier) choices, taking my vitamin regularly, getting enough rest, etc... but I'm not in charge of the rest.

2. Fit into the beautiful dress already purchased for my sister's wedding in June. (Just for anyone interested in the math, there is 14 weeks between the due date and the wedding date).

3. Somehow manage to accomplish singing AT that wedding.

4. Keep track of all grocery spending in excel to see percentages. (which means I still need to enter December's receipts)

5. coupon, coupon, coupon. My goal for the year is to build a 3-6 month supply of food storage in addition to stockpiling items used regularly. My first goal is grains: a 6 month supply for four people is 600 pounds of grain. (a site I have been collecting info about food storing on says you need 300 pounds of grain per person for a year worth supply, this is to provide a 2200 calorie diet) Grains include Wheat, Rice, Rolled Oats, Dried Corn, Popcorn, Flour, Pasta Products, Dried Potatoes, Quinoa, Amaranth, Spelt, Buckwheat, etc. ((psst... I don't even know what quinoa, amaranth or spelt is.)) My plain is rice, popcorn (kernels of course), dried potatoes, flour and pasta. I've been slowly adding rice packets to my cart when they are 10 for 10 and I have coupons of course, so I'll need to tally up what I have and what we need... it's really really overwhelming to look at the list of what you need for a WHOLE year for all the food items. OMG it's nuts. But I'm not going gung-ho-full-speed-ahead-nuts version. I'm planning a very slow and steady attempt to do this. Because I do believe the Bible 100%, I do believe that the end times could be upon us, are very near, and might happen in my lifetime. If they do, I'm hoping I'll be able to provide for my family when our money fails us all. Even if I don't see that happen, I can prepare for a drought in our family if Jamie were to ever (God forbid) lose his job and we'd have no income. Wont it be amazing to go to the storage room for dinner instead of the credit cards?

I derailed of course...

6. The plan for goal #2 (and beyond the wedding) is to rejoin weight watchers and work it. work it. No quitting. No excuses. Goal from restart date will be 75 pounds in 52 weeks. I did it once. I can do it again. I will do it again. I can not chase after two kids well this size, with these back problems and strain on my body--- so there is no way I can chase after three. I will find a better me in 2011. A healthier one. A version where my back isn't constantly aching and I can walk/run/chase my kiddos without being out of breath or in pain.

7. Walk. Up the walking. I can start this as soon as it's warmer, baby come yet or not. I must start walking. I need to be walking. I shouldn't be neglecting the park just next door. It's time to use it. This is the year for using the park. After the baby comes and we see where we all are health wise, I plan on making some serious exercise goals.

8. Read the Word more. Lots more. Get in it and stay in it. Goal to read--at least-- a proverb every day. I've attempted this before and it's always stopped somewhere along the way in the first month even. From today forward-- one proverb every day. Preferably in the morning to start my day "right" and hopefully set the tone for the day. I need to remember the words in Matthew (I think) that what comes out of my mouth is a reflection of what's in my heart. I want the words of my mouth each day to be nice and kind and loving and patient and honorable. That means that my heart has to be full of the word and not of the world.

9. Read 6 Jane Austin books this year. Also read at least 6 "raising boys" or Christian parenting help books. I'm currently in the middle of one called Scream Free Parenting. It's kicking my butt badly. I have a feeling I'm going to restart it once I finish it. While I don't agree with everything that is said by the author, I am convicted of a lot and have been working greatly on my REACTIONS to my childrens' behaviors/attitudes/decisions. The next one I want to get is called Grace-Based Parenting. It's referred to in Scream Free Parenting and I'd like to check it out. I'm also partway through reading The Power of a Praying Parent. I haven't picked it up in a long while and want to continue it and also maybe start it over as well. (That makes 3 of my 6 in that category... just have to actually read them).

10. I want to give every real and honest effort (insurance willing) to continue OT even with the baby coming and throwing monkey wrenches in our schedules. Matthew needs it. I need it. We as a family need it. We've seen great progress, we just still have so so far to go. I'm anxious to think about having the energy and ability to devote the attention he needs to his issues after a baby comes (crying) into our world. But I MUST commit. We have charts and stickers and his own eating calendar now. We have motivation from his therapist Jennifer to keep going. We have encouragement from family and friends that we lean on when it gets hard. And I've had it pointed out to me that God already knew Matthew's issues before he was born. God placed Matthew --with his OT needs-- in our family, in our care, under Jamie and my parenting because it was exactly where God wants him to be. God is and will continue to equip us to handle all that comes. There are times when I feel like "I can't do this anymore!" and days when I do need to tag team some help to take charge when I'm emotionally drained but, this is exactly where Matthew needs to be and God is already in complete control... And DEVIL BE WARNED, WE WILL OVERCOME BECAUSE WE ARE OVERCOMERS. My main goal in this area is to not let the Devil get me down. To not let the Devil push me around. He can't have my family dinner time as his stomping ground and play pen anymore. This is a sacred time that our family has been yearning for that Jamie and I long to no longer dread each day and it stops here. We are making headway, we will continue making headway and we will be at peace at the table with the help of Christ Jesus! .... over the weekend, we were eating dinner one night. I forget which night. And Jamie cracked a joke. I can't even remember what the joke was about. But it was awesome. We were all eating happily. We were laughing. We were loving each other. These are the things that is in store for my family and my dinner table this year. No more screaming. No more fussing. No more short order cook. We will eat dinner as a family in peace and have a loving joyful time in 2011. 2010's way of life at our table is over. And I'm so grateful for Jennifer helping Matthew overcome his issues, helping me overcome my own so that we can all enjoy each other. In September I committed to doing whatever Jennifer said for a year. And there will be hard days to come, certainly. (even last night was one) but right now I'm only looking up and I plan to keep that commitment best I'm able.

"We've been made more than conquerors. Overcomers in this life. We've been made victorious -- through the blood of Jesus Christ."

bracelet

A friend of mine makes lovely jewelry. I've bought her pieces both for myself and for gifts over the past few years. Since receiving my memorial necklace (if you don't know about that, you can go here to see it/read about it) I really haven't worn any other necklaces all that much. I used to wear a cross often and I also had a music note that I loved to wear. Both were charms from Jamie. Well, I'd decided to give Michelle my charms and have her add them to a bracelet I'd dreamed up. I wanted something to represent the love landmarks in my life... my anniversary and my children--all of them. Michelle really did a beautiful job of capturing my loves in this bracelet. Each bead is unique to the rest. It's prefect. Thank you Michelle. Now I can still wear the charms that Jamie got me, and I can have all the pieces of my heart together. (After this child makes his or her arrival, we're going to add a new bead to the bracelet). Isn't it beautiful?

Oct (marriage) June (Matthew) Feb (angel) Dec (Mark) Feb (angel)

the "new couches" post!

Here you go folks! My new couches!

I'm so excited. No more blankets and couch covers to hide the falling apart fabric, the ripped nasty fabric, the sponge under the fabric, the breaking torn fabric showing wood under the sponge.... YAY! No more embarrassment if a friend drops over and no one "covered" the couch yet. No more embarrassment if someone couldn't get "out" of the sinking in couch on the first (second, third) try. No more HEAVE-HOE'ing for ME to get out of the broken sunken couch. No more lost toys IN the broken nasty couch... I really should take a picture of the nasty broken couches on our deck out back but I wont bother. They are waiting to be dragged to the street for trash day! BYE BYE YUCKY COUCHES! The only down side is be/c they are so awesome that they made our living room shrink some. but um.... SO! THEY ARE AWESOME!

Can you tell I'm a bit excited about this?


Jamie told me what his folks paid for these amazing couches ten years ago and I about dropped my drink. I can't believe we're getting SUCH nice couches that are still in great shape for nearly nothing! They are currently freshly sanitized/steam cleaned and ready to be used for the next 10-20 years!

Thank you so much Chuck and Sandy for such a wonderful Christmas gift.

10 on Wednesday

All day Monday it felt like the weekend with Jamie being off work. Then yesterday in my head felt like Monday... so I woke up today ready to do my "Ten on Tuesday" for the first time in a long time and heh, I'd missed Tuesday. Oh well, here's Ten on Wed for you.


1. I'm so stinkin' happy for my best friend and her new job! I'm also praying for other job situations.

2. Mark caught the bad bug. I thought we were so in the clear. All day Monday, no one was puking. All day Tuesday, no one was puking... Tuesday at 9pm, however, in his bed, Mark started. Ugh. We knew we were in for a long night. Jamie cleaned up the puke while I held Mark on the couch. I passed him to Jamie so I could start the laundry since his lovey (boc) blanket was nasty. While starting the laundry, Jamie got puked on. He passed me Mark and striped down and Mark puked on me. It was one of those laugh or cry about it scenes. I started laughing and couldn't stop. We got all cleaned and settled on the couch and Mark puked on me again. He's now on Jammy 3, I'm on Jammy 2... By 11pm, he'd gotten sick twice more and we'd both changed clothes again. By 1am, we were more than all worn out.

3. Jamie's parents brought us their old couches. We now have new couches in our living room! I'm so tickled. They are GREAT couches! (THANK YOU GUYS AGAIN!) This morning I had a carpet cleaner come and treat them with sanitizer and a carpet protectant something or another with a steam cleaning treatment. This is what our living room currently looks like, as the couch cushions are drying. I'm sure I'll post "new couches" pics when we are put together.


4. This is what Mark is doing while he's recovering without a couch to sit on. Pedialite in one hand, sitting with his new pillow pet and watching Blue's Clues...


5. I love my kitchen aid already. LOVE IT. Here's a picture of my new favorite toy. And so much for "I'll be making bread soon" in my previous post. I so made sugar cookies yesterday to try it out.

6. Random thought about my hearing aid... I hate battery day. Every ten days you have to change the battery. Nice huh? That's kind of often. More often than I thought it would be anyhow. But regardless, there it is. So on battery day so far this has happened... 1 time I was at a friend's house when my low battery beeped and shut off and I was without a new battery. That pretty much sucked. 1 time I was driving and had problems hearing Matthew in the backseat and was getting frustrated with "the stupid thing not working" and after I'd dropped him off, it beeped. A little "ohhhh" moment occurred when I realized that I probably was struggling be/c the battery was failing. Today though... today, I heard the beep beep warning that it was going to die, but forgot about it. So then BAM it shuts off and I'm like "what?! ohhh yahhh..." sigh. Most of the time I totally love it. It's been such an amazing gift to be able to hear all these things I was obviously missing. When the kids scream, I don't love it so much, it can actually be painful if Mark is crying loudly in my arms or something, but that's not the norm. (We'll see how we do with a wailing newborn). I'm learning why when you hug someone with a hearing aid you hear a little squealing going on... it's be/c the microphone gets covered and causes feedback. This is slightly annoying but not overly painful. It's nice to not need the captions on TV anymore. All in all, it's wonderful. Battery days however, I haven't mastered yet.

7. I miss couponing. Is that dumb? I really miss scoring deals and bringing home 15 items of the same thing for Jamie to go "we needed that?" hehe. It's been a while since I've hit a goooood deal on something. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of my deals after school is back in session. I'd like a good deal on several things we're low on. Cereal being one (yup, again).

8. I can not believe that at the end of this week, we'll be at 29 weeks along with the pregnancy. 30 weeks seems like "nearing the end" so I'm almost nearing the end. 11 more weeks and there will be another body in this house.

9. I hate food. I hate food. I hate food. ... okay that's not true... I hate meal times. I hate meal times. I hate meal times.... Matthew's food battles are getting more and more heated lately. I try so so so so hard to not lose my cool. Yet it is so so so so hard to stay calm when he's pushing pushing pushing. Some days, we do good. I feel like "wow! we're getting the hang of it. we *can* eat a meal together." Some days, not so much at all. Again I will praise the gift of OT and pray that week by week we can gain insight into Matthew's issues and needs and break down his walls of programmed responses and controlling behaviors. We have come so far and I dont' want to overlook that with a sad update, but it's not easy that's for sure. He can now eat chicken nuggets from Wendys. This makes "grabbing a bite" less trying. No more "can I have a side of apples and a side of bacon" orders. Lunch no more is a granola bar and bacon at home. We're making real progress, it's just sloooooooooooooooooow going.

10. I'll end on something cute rather than down... If you have kids or grandkids and those kids don't have "Polar Bear, Polar Bear what do you hear?" go get it now. Oh mercy. Mark has memorized who comes next. And will tell you in order. It's so friggin cute I can barely stand it. I love how he says "A-ming-go!" for Flamingo. I'd also recommend the same author Eric Carle's "Baby Bear, Baby Bear, what do you see?" Super cute books.

Christmas 2010

I want to remember our Christmas this year, so what better way to do that than to blog it?

This year, my mom bought us a new advent calendar/nativity scene. Each day you open a door and in each door is a piece for the manger scene. Matthew has really loved this each day, asking when it is time to "do the door" and see what's next. Mark doesn't really have the meaning figured out I'm sure, but he enjoys "door time" too. This has been very special to me be/c while they are displaying our nativity scene animal by animal, I am remembering the handmade nativity at my parents house. My grandpa made it and each year my sister and I would put it up together. We had certain pieces that were "hers" to put up and "mine" to do. We each enjoyed setting up the manger scene each year together. It is a beautiful work of art to be cherished for sure. This year, with helping my boys to build the scene day by day created great memories to add for Christmases to come.

Matthew adding the angel to our Nativity Advent calendar

Mark adding baby Jesus

our finished Nativity scene, complete with a flying sheep and wise man -- this is upsetting to Matthew, but we let Mark take his turns, putting his pieces where he wanted. As the years progress, I'm sure the scene will change each time. I can't wait to capture it each year. Merry Christmas, Christ is born!

Mark showing Matthew his new birthday book before we started our Christmas presents.

Mark ready for Christmas

Matthew ready for Christmas

"Merry Christmas!" (Eve morning)
We're ready to "have the tree" as it's said down here...

showing me their stockings

opening stockings

opening gifts from Grammy and Grandpa

Cool book from Aunt Nic

Mark kept lining up the books as he opened them.
He had a fairly long train of books going at the end.

Matthew got some cool new tracks

Mark setting up his new play food

Mark still loving his food.

Matthew and his new tracks

Merry Christmas to me! Jamie got me a kitchen aid! I was so surprised and shocked! THE BEST Christmas present by far! He really out did it this year with this gift. I couldn't be more surprised! Jokingly the night before, when I saw the box, I said "ha, what you got me a kitchen aid?" I had NO IDEA that would be what was really in there when I opened it. I kept asking him if it was really in there or if he just used that box for something else! Woooooo! Let's make some cake balls! I can't wait to try this out. Probably get to make some bread this week, so I'll use it for that!

After we got finished with Christmas at our house, we cleaned up, loaded the car and headed the 4.5 hours south to Nana's house. It was an uneventful car ride (thankfully--wait to see how the car ride home turned out) and we got there mid afternoon. It was wonderful to see Nana and Aunt Dianne and Uncle Butch. Mark wasn't too sure about their dogs, Foxy and Rufus at first, but he eventually warmed up to them. He loved their birds, Sky and Sunshine--which we'd met the last time we were there. He kept wanting to go see the "blue and lellow!"

After visiting for a while, we loaded up and went to the Christmas eve service at Aunt Jean's church. We'd visited the church before for an Easter service. There wasn't child care, so we had the kids in the row with us. The service was very simple and wonderful. 4 or 5 songs and a communion message. Standing up to sing Christmas Carols-- praises to God for His Son, with the boys between us, Jamie and I shared a moment. This was wonderful. Sure it was a little awkward trying to keep them quiet and still, but really, it was wonderful. I am not sure I'd ever sung all four verses to Silent Night. I knew 1, 3, and 4 but verse 2 threw me. I look forward to singing it again.

When it came time for communion, Matthew wanted to know what was going on. I quickly realized that with the childcare always available at our church and others, he's never been IN service before. He's never been exposed to communion before. I tried to simply and quietly explain that the men were going to pass around some bread and the bread was for anyone who had Jesus in their hearts and wanted to remember that He died on the cross for us. I thought that would be sufficient. Now he knows what is going on. However, he floored me. He quickly responded "Well, I do that!" So now we had a small situation. I made pleading eyes to Jamie to help me. What do we say to him in the heat of the moment in the second row, with the plate coming quickly to us. Honestly, I can't recall. I'm not exactly sure what we did say. Something to the tune of "it's just for grown ups right now" and that settled it. Rinse and repeat for the passing of the cup though. He wanted to know what the juice tasted like. I am glad though, that we had a chance to see his interest and that he was swift to say that he has Jesus in his heart. We talk about that often. What we don't talk about is what that means. I'm praying that when Matthew really does accept Jesus to live in his heart and makes that decision, I'll be there. What a wonderful day that will be.

I had tears in my eyes when the communion was over and we sang "Emmanuel" in closing.

Emmanuel, Emmanuel, His name is called, Emmanuel.
God with us, Revealed in us, His name is called, Emmanuel.

I'm glad we got there in time to enjoy the service as a family.

Back at Nana's....

Daddy reading to his boys

Well, someone was bound to get hurt... Mark slid headfirst into the brick fireplace. He handled the wound being taken care of fairly well, the band-aid however, he wanted nothing to do with.

Aunt Dianne with the boys

Mark and Nana

Mark in front of Nana's tree, Christmas morning

Mark screaming "Merry TRISSSS-MASSSSS"!

Matthew and Mark

Me and my boys~ Merry Christmas

Papa and Markie

Grandma, Kimby (aunt Kiki), and Papa arrived Christmas evening. Uncle Rick, Aunt Chas, Shelton and Bryton also came. We got to start all over with the gift giving and family bonding. We really felt blessed this Christmas.

Mark got some new bath toys

Shelton, Matthew and Jamie playing our new Thomas Uno.
Mark was a good supervisor.

Mark trying to help Nana open her big box

Papa and Grandma looking at their personalized calendar

Mark loving on his new pillow pet (Go BUZZ BEE!)

Matthew liking his new robot

Papa opening his coffee mug from us. It pictured him, Jamie and Granddaddy

Jamie hugging Nana bye

Our whole Hobbs family:
Kate, Mark, Jamie, Matthew, Sandy, Kimby, Chuck, Shelton, Rick, Bryton, Chasity

Sadly, that's about where the fun ended. If you see Matthew's face in that picture, he's complaining that he's choking and needs to throw up. Great. We were trying to take a family picture before heading out on our way home. We left for home about 15 minutes after that was taken, not sure what to do about Matthew. 20 minutes on the road, he did throw up. We pulled over to clean him up (thankfully we had a container ready and there wasn't too much mess) and a cop pulled up while we were sitting there. Thank goodness she was a "grandmotherly looking" cop and seemed to have a heart. She said "take care of your youngin (oh yah, we were that south) and I'll sit here till you're settled." Nice huh? We got him settled, he started to fall asleep and then 20 minutes later on the highway he screamed from being asleep and puked again. Sigh. We pulled over and cleaned him up... now running out of clothes for him, he wore Jamie's sweater. Got on the road a little more. Rinse and repeat. Dear God! He was now neked with just his underwear and socks on with a blanket over him. We located the closest walmart thanks to my GPS, I waited in the insanity that was the checkout lane at walmart on the day after Christmas to buy my son a new sweatshirt and sweat pants. Some how we did make it home around 8pm. The kids went straight to bed. The car unloaded into the kitchen and the parents exhausted. All in all we had a great Christmas. It was so nice to see family and to spend the sweet time with Nana Ray... however, the trip home was beyond awful.

I will say now though, that we are all okay. Matthew was the only one to get the stomach bug fortunately, as so far no one else has been sick.

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas.

O Christmas Bug

O Christmas Bug, O Christmas Bug, why did you come to visit?
Why did you have to get in our car?
Why did you make my son's puke go so far?
O Christmas Bug, O Christmas Bug, why did you come to visit?

Tomorrow he'll be TWO.

How did another whole year pass me by? Tomorrow by baby boy, my beetle bug, my snowman, my Markie will be two. Two. TWO?! How did that happen? Wasn't he just born? Wasn't it just Christmas night and we were bringing him home from the hospital? Do you remember the little bump in the road at the hospital we had to overcome?

(Mark with his IV in for meds)

What a sweet precious gift it was to come home Christmas night with our most blessed present in our arms... My sweet baby boy, you are so wonderful. I love being your mommy. Do you all remember this cute (messy) face from last year's cake experience?

Mark, you continue to floor me with your cuteness. How can one little boy be so cute? Even Matthew will tell him he's being cute from time to time, Mark really is just a cutey pie. I love you to pieces. I was thinking about how you wont be the baby soon the other day when I was rocking you to sleep. Soon you'll be the "middle child" but you will always be my baby. My sweet darling baby. For now you can be the baby and I'll continue to rock you to sleep as long as you like.

Here's a few pictures from his party Monday night,
the theme Blue's Clues if you can't tell from the cake: