Gratefulness

 I love this man. I love him so much. I'm so blessed that he's my earthly father. I'm so blessed at God moving powerfully in him. I'm so blessed in God choosing to keep him here.  This is my daddy.  Five falls ago, he had radical surgery to remove the cancer in his body. We didn't know it then that the surgery would only be a temporary solution, that the cancer would come back...

However here's what life looked like five years ago...

 Grandpa and Matthew October, 2007

Mom, Kate, Dad and Kris

One of my most favorite pictures of Matthew-- his hands posed under his chin sweetly as if he was praying to God the Father above. I've often looked at this picture and thought how perfectly that little charming face is gazing up towards the sky. How innocent sweet children are. How that captures my desires to gaze up to my Father perfectly. How blessed we were (and still are!) and didn't know it....

I am blessed that my daddy was able to walk me down the aisle. October 2, 2004 ... before we knew anything was wrong... Hindsight is always 20-20, isn't it? If I could go back there... oh I'd tell that Kate to be calmer, nicer, to hug him more, to listen to him closer, to remember his stories and ask him his dreams. I'd tell that Kate to sit and soak him in every day... that Kate didn't know she'd move miles and miles away. She didn't know that the time she had with her daddy was so extremely precious.... she didn't know she was taking for granted the every day things... But I can't. I can just look back now and find the blessings... and I am blessed that my daddy walked me down the aisle on the biggest day of my life... 

and I'm blessed he danced with me.

Grandpa holding his first grandchild for the first time, 

Matthew, June 27th 2006

Grandpa holding his second grandchild for the first time, 

Mark Edward... named in honor of his late brother, Mark William, 

and named after his own middle name, Edward.

December 23, 2008

 some love and laughter 

November 2010 

 Grandpa holding his third grandchild for the first time... 

Micah, March 11th 2011

 Grandpa with his boys, March 2011

Kris and Dad, June 24th 2011, The Rehearsal

There is someone else who is also blessed that her daddy walked her down the aisle. She is my sister.  This particular aisle walking was perhaps even more special and more important than my turn 7 years prior... 7 years prior: our dad was healthy, 7 years prior: our dad was fine... For Kris, this day, was prayed over. Prayed and prayed and prayed over for months. And God is so faithful. And God is so gracious. He granted our prayers. He heard our petitions. And for the second time, my daddy was able to walk one of his daughter's down the aisle. 

My handsome Dad and lovely Mom

Dad just saw Kris for the first time, all done up and ready to go

She also got to dance with her daddy.

Other moments of Grandpa sweetness.... 

  Father's Day, 2011

  

September Trip, 2011

 Father's Day, 2012

4th of July, 2012

By God's grace and mercy and blessings we'll have many more of these precious memories. We'll have many more of these moments to look back on... to see just how far the Lord has taken us. In 2007, when the word cancer entered our lives, entered my dad's body, we didn't know what tomorrow held. We still don't of course... but looking back on yesterdays, I can be nothing but filled with gratefulness. My dad is a miracle.  And GOD is still in the miracle business. Last week my dad had tests run. This is not abnormal now. Tests, scans, blood counts... these are part of his life now.... however, the results of this test showed that TWO of the THREE tumors on his spine are GONE! GONE. Gone. Praise God. Oh may God have all the glory. 2nd Kings 20 verse 5 says "....I have heard your prayer, I have seen your tears; behold, I will heal you."  Jesus IS our healer! Gone! Can you even believe it?! Gone. Oh praises to God the Father! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!   Also in these results however showed growth on the remaining of the three tumors. So. We continue to pray. And I continue to cling to this verse in Jeremiah 30, verse 17 says "For I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds." YES YES YES! Heal him Father! Heal up my dad! Restore him to health. Besides the larger tumor there was a small new tumor found on his hip.  Dad says this one is tiny. He's not concerned. In fact, my dad, Mr. Comical, joked even that people were praying for the other two tumors and no one was praying for this one that grew, so now we'll get on that. Ha ha. Well, now I am praying specifically. Hear that Mr. T-11 vertebrate! HEALING! In Jesus' mighty name! Healing!  So there it is... even with the new tiny tumor and the growing one... how can I not be grateful?  How can I not be full of God's evidence in my life and in my family's lives?  Look at all that we've had so far! God is blessing us. And I am grateful. 

Sorry, Pop. I bet you need a tissue now, huh?

I love you. 

Love, your butterfly.

Father's Day 2012

What is a father? A grandfather? ... the first basic answer is that a father is a man who has a child. And a grandfather is one whose child has had a child. But what makes a father really a father? Or... a dad? Or... a daddy?  I remember a gift I once gave my dad for some such holiday that says something to the effect of: "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad" ...what's neat is that this plaque hangs on the wall as you enter my parents' bedroom. I don't know how often he looks at it. But it catches my eye each time I leave their room. And it makes me smile. I think this is very true... Anyone can father a child and become a father. But it takes someone so special to truly be a dad. It takes someone so loving and wonderful to be a daddy.

I thank the Lord God every day and give Him all the glory for my dad's physical health and continued healing. His PSA counts have been lowering and lowering. The last three results have been .6, 1.0 and then my mom just told me the most recent one was another 1.0 down down down! It's going down! I'm so grateful for these results and more so for every single moment he is allowed to remain on this earth. We spent a lot of my childhood and teen years at odds with one another. He didn't know me. I couldn't approach him. He seemed so far away. So distant. ....We spent a lot of my young adult life disagreeing and then I moved so far away... and the line of communication got even more distant. BUT! (Do you hear the choir singing?! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!) BUT!!!! over the past couple years, I've never felt closer to my dad--or more loved by him. I know he's proud of me. I know he loves me--ever so much more than I knew or understood. I know he adores his grandchildren. I know most of all, and most rewarding of all that he is a born again baptised believer int he Lord Jesus Christ and I am so thankful that he is my daddy. He is strong and hugable. He is proud and broken. He is no longer angry. He carries a tender spirit of peace about him. He is loving and forgiving. He is gentle and encouraging. He is saved by grace and washed clean and made new by the blood of the Lamb.

( Besides dad's obvious changes, I too have been growing more and more each passing year. I'm trying to root myself strongly in the Word. I am trying to be more mellow about things I once stood strongly about--things that truly don't matter. I try to show kindness and politeness where I go. I aim to use manners and gentleness. I have long sense tried to take a crusted over brick of grudges off my shoulder so that I can be more lovable and more friendly. It's hard to raise your own children to be kind... when being kind is a challenge for you, huh? )

There is nothing so sweet and powerful to hear than a large and strong sweet male voice praising the Risen Savior without restraint. Over the past two years, whenever I am able to attend church with my parents... with my dad, and hear him lift his voice in worship, I can not stop the tears from forming. It is so beautiful. To see him boldly come --early even-- to the throne room is such a joy and a privilege. To have the boys know that all their grandparents go to church, and not know any differently is joy to my heart. As parents, it's our joy--mine and Jamie's--to raise these boys up in the ways of the Lord, to learn the truth of His Word and to help them to live it out. For them to see their grandparents, especially their grandfathers do this is blessings in my life. And I couldn't imagine a father's day without my dad now that I've truly found him in my life!

So, instead of the boys spending this (and last) Father's Day with their own daddy: my sweet and wonderful, charming husband let me go be with my daddy. The boys celebrated Father's day with their grandpa the second year in a row. I cherish this special time. I know that each day, each month, each year is a gift.  Last summer, after my dad made it to and through my sister's wedding, it seemed he was invincible. Then things got worse. Counts got high and it seemed unfair. But I believe through prayer and petition to God from so many, my dad's days are being lengthend by God's grace. He's doing better and better now. He's so darn handsome. Oh my daddy is so handsome. I keep waiting for his beautiful hair to fall out or something that you associate cancer patients with, but it doesn't. Each time I see him, he's just more handsome than the last. And I'm so blessed to have such a husband that allows me to travel with his children away from him for so long to come and visit with my parents... to spend that special craved time with my daddy. What do we do that's so special? I donno.  We watch a lot of movies together. We laugh. Everything's funny some nights... it's just so nice to be with him. To be close to him. To have the boys know him. A sickness of any kind, makes you so thankful for what you do have. And what we do have is wonderful.

This year, we were joined on Father's Day by my best friend and heart's sister, Nic, and her two cuties. Her sweet and loving husband also graciously sent her to spend Father's day not with him, but with my dad... whom she's claimed and her kids call Grandpa Paul. We had a lovely time together this past weekend. I'm so blessed by both Jamie and John's selflessness to allow us this sweet gift of time for us and for my daddy.

So, what's a daddy I asked? ....

Someone who loves you like you are their very own...

Grandpa (Grandpa Paul) with his (five) little blessings

on this year's Father's Day.

Grandpa's visit

My dad had a couple extra days to take off from work, so we enjoyed a visit from him this past week. I thought it would be hard without my Mom with him... and it was different but, I will say, we had a blast. We played like 22 games of our favorite Train game "Ticket to Ride." Dad and I played in and around the kids napping/school schedules. Micah was a pretty good exersaucer camper while we played some of the time. We watched silly tv and movies. We talked. We played with the boys. It was nice just spending this sweet time with him. And I will say, though he may be embarrassed, it was really the most wonderful time I've ever spent with my dad. I've never spent such a just sweet and fun time with him. The Lord is truly blessing us and I'm ever so grateful. Here's just a few pictures that I took of him being Grandpa.

Walking back from the bus stop with Matthew

Letting Micah find his whiskers

Reading books every night

Playing "Simon Says"

Playing "Uno!"

Thank you Dad for being so wonderful with these boys.
They love you. Matthew's already counting down the days until Thanksgiving.

I wanna sing!

I wanna sing sing sing!
I wanna shout shout shout!
I wanna sing.
I wanna shout.
PRAISE THE LORD!

I love this little song that they do at our preschool. It stays in my head and it makes me happy. Today I'm extra happy. This is my favorite day of the whole year and today, this year, it's even more special. Today my heart is a little more happy. My step is lighter. My head is singing. Today I know that without a doubt, my daddy will go to Heaven some day. I know that I'll see him there in Glory because yesterday he obeyed Jesus and was baptized in believer's baptism by submersion.

I'm so thankful for this day.

God has answered my heart and heard so many prayers.

I'm happy today!
Oh yes I'm happy today!
In Jesus Christ, I'm happy today.
Because He's taken all my sins away!
And that's why I'm happy today!

I have been singing all day long. And what a beautiful reminder to myself. This is how it should be. I should be happy. I should be singing praises. I should be grateful and thankful and cheerful EVERY day. I should be praising the name of the Lord because He is worthy to be praised.

Help me Lord to remember to praise you daily. In the normal times, in the bad times, in the hard and bumpy times and of course the good ones. Thank you Father, for answering prayers. Thank you for your timing and your will being perfect. Thank you Lord, for today.

grandpa

This is what Father's Day looked like this year...

Happy Fourth (tomorrow)

Here's the cake I made for today's cookout at my friend Kathy's parents' house. I was pleased. You can't tell from this picture, but it's a two layer cake. Red cake on the bottom, blue on the top, white icing of course and the sprinkles!

GOD BLESS AMERICA. MY HOME SWEET HOME!
OH GOD BLESS AMERICA, MY HOME SWEET HOME!

June 2009

June 2009

June 2008

Tomorrow is the Fourth of July and my Daddy's birthday. If you get to watch any fireworks... he'd tell you they were for him. (This must have really been said a lot as a child, be/c I just went back in my posting archives and basically said the same thing July 4, 2008 and 2009).

Happy Fourth, America! I pray that we'll be able to get out of the mess we're in as a Nation. I believe that if our founding fathers could see what we've done to the nation they worked so hard to build and keep our freedom safe and secure, they'd be horrified. However, we are instructed to respect our authorities. This comes hard in a situation where you do not think your leader is deserving of respect. But it's not up to me to decide that now. He is in charge and it's our job to pray for him. And to pray for those serving him. And to pray that lots of people vote in November! (cough cough) okay, I'm very rarely political in my postings, so I'll stop. but there you are. Either way, America has survived another year. And we have MUCH to be thankful for. God has blessed us with a great freedom, both in this country but also so much more importantly, from our sins, through the blood on the cross shed by Jesus Christ, His Son. Thank you Lord for the Cross!


And thank you Lord, for my Daddy.

My daddy, leaving me at the aisle to marry my sweet Jamie.
Oct 2, 2004

May 2006
Grammy and Grandpa

July 2007 (with Matthew)

July 2008 (with Matthew)

August 2009 (with Mark)

May 2010 (reading stories on Memorial day morning)

Happy birthday Pop! I love you so much.
I hope you're having a great time in Arizonia with Kris.
Here's just a few things my dad is good at (I went to excel and put it in alphabetical order so no one can know what I thought of first haha!)

-Being a good example

-Being a grandpa. His boys love him.

-Being a pillar of strength

-Being a teddy bear when no one is looking

-Being a voice of reason

-Cooking

-Dancing. I can remember dancing on my daddy's feet when I was little. I bet he'd still let me…

-Driving -Eating whatever I cook.

-Grilling

-Holding your hand, even when he might not want to

-Hugging

-Knowing what you need to hear, even if you don't want to hear it.

-Loving -Loving my mom

-Making breakfast in general

-Making Eggs

-Making the Goofy and Donald noises

-Making waffles

-Making you spit milk at the table… and I swear it's his goal to get me to do it every trip I go back home…

-Playing cards… well playing any game really

-Quoting old movies

-Requiring laughter when you're sobbing

-Showing respect for my mother and teaching us girls to do so

-Singing

-Watching movies (with you)