What is it?
and
Can you achieve it?
Paul talks about it in Philippians chapter 4. He talks in verse 11 about having LEARNED how to be content. Today in Bible Study, we talked about just this. And how it's a life long lesson. And how when we think "I'd be content if only...." anything... if we're thinner, if we have more money, if we have more children, more romance, more things, a bigger house, a better job, a better car.... Yet the problem is that THINGS can't fill us with contentment. Because as soon as we achieve someTHING, we end up wanting something else. Satan's desire is to kill, steal and destroy us and man! he does a good job at trying. It's hard to walk in life with our heads lifted high singing sweet melodies all the day because life is jolly. Because life isn't jolly all the time. There are moments of discouragement, there are moments of discontentment. And we have to choose to LEARN from those. We need to learn from all our trials and struggles and live problems and learn how to be able to be content. My Bible Study leader said this morning so many profound things. You know... Paul was beaten to nearly death, stoned, beaten with rods, ship wrecked, naked, left for dead, starved, thirsted, imprisoned, robbed, frostbitten--- she said "and that's just what happened to his physical body what about his heart?!" He was deceived, despised, hated, mistreated, his heart concerned for those around him, the current church, those hunting and pursuing him, he had concern for his own life... and instead of writing "I'm tired of ALL YOU PEOPLE!" he wrote "In all things, I've learned to be content." Oh wow. Oh... wow. We don't have our priorities lined up at all, at all, at all... Oh! I'm not saying life is roses... because we know it's not. Life is hard. There *are* trials. But God is faithful. Oh God is faithful. God promises to be and remain faithful. And if Paul, who went through the worst of all imaginable sufferings (save the shame and horror that Christ suffered in His own crucifixion) and can come out on the other side, saying "I've learned how to be content" ... then who am I to whine about my own problems? No one. God tells me in Jeremiah 29:11 that he has plans for me. a hope for me. a future for me. So even if my season right now is tough, even if my life right now is hard.... or yours..... how can we not aim for contentment. THIS wont last forever. It wont. THANK YOU JESUS! Whatever your "it" is... it wont last forever. This is a season. And God is faithful. And through Christ alone, we can place our trust and do all things with His strength and His might. Our contentment isn't found in something. It's found in someone... it's found in Christ alone.
Oh Father, help me to be content. Help me to remember DAILY to place my trust in you. To ask you to go before me and beside me and behind me. Help me Lord to remember that my trials are for a season and that I can cling to you and come out on the other side. Thank you Jesus for your goodness, for your grace and mercy. Thank you Lord for sending me a Savoir... Amen.
go here to listen to a gorgeous song... it's about a promise, that God has for us. That HE promises to always be there. To be there through it all. Makes you remember that YOU *CAN* do it -- anything -- with Christ's help, with His strength, His love, His NAME!, His blood!, His word.... I hope you enjoy it. I have been feasting on it for a few days actually because we're learning it at church. It's such a beautiful song about God's promise, God's goodness... even through the worst of hardest times... God's still God. And He. Is. Good.
Where the voices get to come out of my head and ramble elsewhere...
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
how many steps?
|
|
| 15047 | |
| 11845 | |
| 5606 | |
| 7546 | |
| 6355 |
| 4565 |
| 4317 |
| 13292 |
| 12304 |
| 9328 |
| 5600 |
| 4266 |
| 13831 |
| 11705 |
| 4692 |
| 5716 |
| 12708 |
I hadn't posted anything on weight or weight loss for a while... so I thought I'd break the ice. I'm still moving forward. I'm still desiring a smaller me. It's just slow slow slow. I'm focusing right now on Visalus shakes (ask me about that!) and walking walking walking. I haven't done weight watchers since around June. And I feel better for stopping that part of my mental life. Counting, tracking, food awareness, etc, was consuming my thoughts all the time and I was getting into a bad funk. I was discouraged to say the least. I was pretty pleased to try something new. I'll admit, the weight hasn't fallen off like I thought it would with the shakes, but I'm doing well. I'm being committed to it, and I'm being honest with myself! I'm also trying weekly to get 3 or 4 days of walking in. Some weeks better than others, but for me that's a big deal. So anyhow, there you have it.
How many steps are you getting in?
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Potty Training 101
You know there are just some things that no one ever discusses with you. When you 12 or 15 and are dreaming about some day becoming a mom... there are just things no one discusses with you. No one says to the cute kid of then that some day she'll have places on her body she wont recognize or some day she'll wonder where her twenties went or that being a mother is code for being on call 100 hours a day for any possible reason or cause. It means neglecting your schedule for someone's sniffles or blisters or fever. It means an endless cycle of dishes and laundry that some how seem to mate and produce more dishes and laundry every load. It means sleep is for yester-years because there is no sleeping after you have children. No one tells the dreamy eyed unsuspecting teenager that she'll be peed on, puked on, farted on, perhaps pooped on, jumped on and any other number of painful or gross things... and that my friends is where this late night rambling leads to. Not one person ever told me about the amount of bottom problems these children have. Problems, if you will, that they themselves can not handle on their own, that is of course for you to handle, you being the parent.
For example, someone--who will remain nameless-- wet his bed again last night. Hmm, on soccer nights when we drink 2 full water bottles, we apparently lose the ability to get up and go to the bathroom! (oops, did that give it away?) So four of the five Hobbs were awake at 1:20am dealing with wet sheets for the afflicted bed. Which resulted in him sleeping on a sleeping bag on his bed--thrilled him, whatever. And the other one thinking it was time to get up and play. But since he's also potty training these days, he needed to go take a turn on the potty. Did I mention that? No?
Well he'll be 4 in December and I'm hoping we're successful in our attempts before then. We shall see. He's been doing a good job about it. I'd say where in the 60-40% standing lately. Here's a Mark funny for you though, we were at soccer and he said he needed to go, and the only thing available is a port-a-potty. Jamie opened the door... and Mark says "well. uhhhh. I think I wait until we go home." Smart kid, huh?
If I were to put together a Potty Training 101 list... here would be some of the things I'd say. Even though, I probably wouldn't say them because who talks about this stuff in person right? right.
1. All the crazy people who say "oh, he should be potty trained by now" should be smacked. Seriously. Just smack them. Or don't really, but just walk on past them. I'm learning that much like the nursing or bottles controversy people have high standards and lots of opinions about potty training. But I'm learning that there is no special time or magic number. They will "be potty trained" when they are good and ready. I decided Matthew was "old enough" and I battled him tooth and nail about it. I have not pushed the issue with Mark even though MANY people have flapped their mouths about it and he's finally interested in training and we're moving forward. He's been in pull ups for a week now and he's pretty proud of himself. I do believe any earlier for him would have been a waste (or torture) of my time. Don't let anyone pressure you into training. IT IS NOT WORTH BATTLING. A friend of mine has a child same age as Micah who's potty trained already. I sometimes think she's a fairy tale walking around in a real person's body, but that's fantastic for her. In the end though... if my kids are out of diapers before they go to college, I'll be glad with that.
2. Accidents happen. Spare yourself the Elmo video. The "Accidents Happen" song will be in your head the rest of your ever lovin' life! But. It is the truth. Accidents Happen. And there is nothing you can do about it. (Micah peed on the couch tonight... awesome. thank you.) Try to not raise your voice. That's equally pointless and in fact makes the situation worse. (Sadly this is from trial and error again... it's that learning curve. The poor defenseless first borns get all that trial and error stuff). Mark has started hanging his head in shame when he's not made it to the potty fast enough. Oh my heart can't stand it. I'm trying to take the shame out of it and just make the rewards great for the good stuff. High fives, stickers, candy... whatever it takes to make him feel good. But without the shame involved!
3. .... well... I can't think of a three... so I guess I only have two bullet points for this lesson. Ha ha! Oh well. I'm in a season of washing sheets constantly, but there is probably light down this tunnel at some point. Potty Training is just one of those stages moms have to go through. At some point all these people will be in underwear and I'm sure I'll wonder where the diaper days went. Not today, but maybe some day.
For example, someone--who will remain nameless-- wet his bed again last night. Hmm, on soccer nights when we drink 2 full water bottles, we apparently lose the ability to get up and go to the bathroom! (oops, did that give it away?) So four of the five Hobbs were awake at 1:20am dealing with wet sheets for the afflicted bed. Which resulted in him sleeping on a sleeping bag on his bed--thrilled him, whatever. And the other one thinking it was time to get up and play. But since he's also potty training these days, he needed to go take a turn on the potty. Did I mention that? No?
Well he'll be 4 in December and I'm hoping we're successful in our attempts before then. We shall see. He's been doing a good job about it. I'd say where in the 60-40% standing lately. Here's a Mark funny for you though, we were at soccer and he said he needed to go, and the only thing available is a port-a-potty. Jamie opened the door... and Mark says "well. uhhhh. I think I wait until we go home." Smart kid, huh?
If I were to put together a Potty Training 101 list... here would be some of the things I'd say. Even though, I probably wouldn't say them because who talks about this stuff in person right? right.
1. All the crazy people who say "oh, he should be potty trained by now" should be smacked. Seriously. Just smack them. Or don't really, but just walk on past them. I'm learning that much like the nursing or bottles controversy people have high standards and lots of opinions about potty training. But I'm learning that there is no special time or magic number. They will "be potty trained" when they are good and ready. I decided Matthew was "old enough" and I battled him tooth and nail about it. I have not pushed the issue with Mark even though MANY people have flapped their mouths about it and he's finally interested in training and we're moving forward. He's been in pull ups for a week now and he's pretty proud of himself. I do believe any earlier for him would have been a waste (or torture) of my time. Don't let anyone pressure you into training. IT IS NOT WORTH BATTLING. A friend of mine has a child same age as Micah who's potty trained already. I sometimes think she's a fairy tale walking around in a real person's body, but that's fantastic for her. In the end though... if my kids are out of diapers before they go to college, I'll be glad with that.
2. Accidents happen. Spare yourself the Elmo video. The "Accidents Happen" song will be in your head the rest of your ever lovin' life! But. It is the truth. Accidents Happen. And there is nothing you can do about it. (Micah peed on the couch tonight... awesome. thank you.) Try to not raise your voice. That's equally pointless and in fact makes the situation worse. (Sadly this is from trial and error again... it's that learning curve. The poor defenseless first borns get all that trial and error stuff). Mark has started hanging his head in shame when he's not made it to the potty fast enough. Oh my heart can't stand it. I'm trying to take the shame out of it and just make the rewards great for the good stuff. High fives, stickers, candy... whatever it takes to make him feel good. But without the shame involved!
3. .... well... I can't think of a three... so I guess I only have two bullet points for this lesson. Ha ha! Oh well. I'm in a season of washing sheets constantly, but there is probably light down this tunnel at some point. Potty Training is just one of those stages moms have to go through. At some point all these people will be in underwear and I'm sure I'll wonder where the diaper days went. Not today, but maybe some day.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Romans 7:15-25
15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.
Oh Father... Help me Lord. These verses were part of the lesson you gave me at Bible Study this morning. And sadly, I put them into practice this evening. Lord I prayed asking to be more like you, asking you have more patience and kindness and gentleness; to be a better mom; to be stronger in my walk with you. And then the next thing out of my mouth was horrid. Oh Father. Thank you for Lamentations 3:22-23 that tells me your mercies are new every morning. ... as J said today, "Every minute even" ... Oh Father. Lord. Help me. Help me to DO patience. and to DO kindness. to DO love. Help me Father to learn from Paul's writings... Oh how I do not want to do the things I hate and not do the things I know I should. Let me practice the things that are good. Let me practice the things that are pleasing to you.
After a tearful exchange and a heartfelt apology, I believe we can all sleep in peace tonight Father, but only through your grace. Only with your love. Only because you erase all sins. Only because you died on the cross for me and took all my sins and see me as spotless and when I do make mistakes (and I will) Father, when I do, you allow me to come to you, ask your forgiveness and you grant me pardon.
"You have pardoned my transgressions! You have sanctified my soul! You have honored my confession! By your blood Lord, I've been made whole!" Thank you for making me whole, Heavenly Father. Thank you for cleansing me and thank you for your mercies, new, every morning. Amen.
Monday, July 30, 2012
the big controversy
There is so much controversy when it comes to breastfeeding. Yup. Stop reading now if you are annoyed with this topic. There is no sense in even continuing. I'm not exactly sure where this post is heading, I just know I've been toying with the idea of writing one on this topic for over a week. ... Saturday, I nursed Micah for what I'm guessing will be the last time. And more firmly, Saturday I probably nursed a baby for the last time. Yesterday our schedule was so full, so rush rush rush, that when we needed to get in the car in the morning, I made him a bottle instead because he was still snoozing. The day progressed and all of a sudden it was 9pm and we were home and he was snoozing again. The day evaporated before I'd realized that I hadn't nursed him once. And he wasn't having any part of it, going from the car straight to bed... Jamie said he was planning on rocking him while I tucked in Mark and Micah dove for the bed. So Jamie didn't argue, he just laid Micah in the bed and said "Night night." The past week or more, we'd been mostly only nursing first thing in the morning, right after waking from nap and then just before bedtime. You know, the snugly times. You know, the most special sweet coo'ing times. You know, the times that you can't ever get back later... I look at Matthew now. The best I can get from a snuggle from him is a gangly hug. My stars he's getting so tall. (We were at the doc today for a check up and he's in the 90% for height. Not at all surprised). It seems like yesterday Matthew was a tiny baby and now POOF he's a 90%-for-height-scrawny-all-legs-and-bones-first-tooth-lost-6-year-old. It just happens so dang fast.
I only nursed Matthew 13 months and he basically cut himself off. One day we were nursing, the next day he was reaching for a sippy and pushed me away when I offered him. Mark on the other hand at 14 months... I cut off cold turkey. I was pregnant at the time with one our Heaven Babies and I just was so sick and it was painful to nurse him feeling so nauseous the whole time and I just cut him off. And he threw his sippy cup at me for a week. Oh, man alive, he hated it. Soooo, needless to say, I'd decided not to do that again. I was content to let Micah just nurse as long as he was wanting. He is 16+ months now and I had started to get comments "oh, you're still nursing?" or really they sounded like this "oh, you're still nursing?" as of late and was answering them politely of course. I would have liked to have said "Yup, doesn't seem to bother him" each time but didn't. But really, what difference is it to anyone? Jamie always said that when the kid can ask for it, he'd rather I be done... and um... the other day when Micah came up to me, pulled at my shirt and signed "more", we both looked at each other like, "hmmmmmm he's sort of asking for some, huh?" So, I knew it was time. I knew we were nearing on the end. It's just so big though, because... it is the end. It's the end of me having babies in the house... of me needing to wear a nursing bra.... of me bringing a nursing cover wherever we go.... of me having to pick shirts over dresses.... of a tiny precious baby needing something that only I have for him.
I have so many thoughts about this. And it's so interesting too because you always hear "Wait till you're a mother" about things growing up, you know? Well, I'd long ago formed opinions about breastfeeding and formula and pureeing your own baby food (go ahead and laugh mom) and crying it out and co-sleeping and pacifiers and all this stuff. Everyone does. At some point in a girl's life, she starts dreaming about being a mom. And in those dreams she starts planning what she will and wont do...There are just some things that you have NO CLUE about until after the fact.
I can honestly tell you that most if not all of my pre-child formed opinions are NOT the same as my post-child opinions. AND even so much that my first-time-mom opinions greatly differ from my mother-of-three opinions. Some examples just for laughs: I never wanted my child to have a pacifier. Never. What's the point? And then I became the human pacifier for Matthew. So, now Micah has probably 6 pacifiers, he likes toting them all around and I color coordinate his bandanas on his paci towels for church each week with his outfit. And I don't care. And people who say "Oh why does he still have his Binky. He doesn't need a paci. Isn't he too old for a Binky?" make me nuts! You go be a human pacifier for two years and have a baby suckling on you every 45 minutes and see how you like it?? Your opinions change with motherhood. They just do. Time, circumstance, experience... first hand experience changes you. Matthew wouldn't take a bottle. Ever. I think he had a total of 5 bottles his whole life. He nursed and went right to a sippy cup at 13 months. ... Yah buddy at 6 months, Mark was having a sippy cup. "HERE!" "TAKE IT!" I made people give him bottles even when I was there because I wasn't walking that road again. My friend J has a saying she says often "I've already been on that field trip and I don't want to go back." So true. You learn. You evolve in your thinking and understanding. Do I think Micah is going to go to college with a paci tied to bandana? No. Eventually we'll get him to put it in the bed only, you know, for nap and bed times. And then some day we'll take it away from him when he's ready... Until then, shut it people.
Another example: co-sleeping... I co-slept for the first couple months with each child but always was pretty adamant with getting them into their own beds (or playpens in our room) soon. I didn't want to lay down with my kids at night in their beds, I didn't want them in my beds... soooo, the past few weeks, Matthew still CLEARLY needs a nap some days. He's tired, he's worn out, we've been GO GO GO this whole summer... the only way I can get him to sleep is if I lay with him for a few minutes. Okay. SIGN ME UP! Today even, I said "we're all taking a nap!" I don't give a care what I used to think or said... shoot! If it means that he rests for an hour and we all can have a nice evening without a cranky monster for a 6 year old, works for me! That means I get to lay down for 15 minutes and do nothing except think and breathe. Okay. Double Score.
I'm side trailing myself though...
Back to the nursing issue.... at the doctor's office today, there was this tv in the waiting room on the health accent channel, I'm sure you've all seen one or similar... Anyhow, I hear "While breastfeeding is still recommended for the first 6 months of life, if you can't....." and it got me thinking. Who cares? Why is it a big issue? Why is it anyone's business? It is probably easily the most controversy of all baby issues... "how are you going to feed the baby?" My sister and I were both bottle fed and we've turned out alright. My boys are all breastfed. Did I decide that because I wasn't nursed as a baby? No. Do you remember being nursed as a baby? I sure don't remember having a bottle when I close my eyes and think way back. Does it matter that we didn't stop at 6 months or at a year or at 15 months? No. Who cares? Everyone has an opinion though... And... I'm learning that even my own opinions change change change with the passing season. In this season of my life... if Jamie wasn't prompting me to stop, I could easily see myself co-sleeping with Micah and still nursing him for a long time. In fact when I was away from Jamie for so long this summer, there were nights when Micah came to bed with me. Since we were in the same room, I'd hear him when he woke mid night and instead of just waiting for him to self-soothe, I really didn't want to be bothered, so I pull him in bed with me, he'd nurse himself back to sleep and we'd both be fine until morning. If someone would have told my "first time mommy opinion" self that, she'd have argued with you. But this "mother of three opinion" self just doesn't care. Bill Cosby is so dang smack on in his comedy bit about just wanting peace. As long as no one is crying... I don't care what is happening. I really don't. Sure, I don't want the kids climbing on the furniture or smacking each other or burying stuff in the yard. Sure I don't want crayons on the walls or bugs in the kitchen sink, but honestly, if nursing a baby in your bed means that you both sleep well... Well... who cares? In ten, fifteen, twenty years will it matter? ..... nope.
I'll leave you with this... There's all this big talk about it not being polite to nurse in public...and it was very hard for me to nurse Matthew in public. I'd go back to the car or I'd sit in the bathroom if we were out places... It got easier the more comfortable I felt in my abilities to be discrete and of course depending on where we were with each child... I could pretty much nurse Micah anywhere, gimme a nursing cover and blanket and who cares...that comes with trial and error of course, but anyhow.... I saw the funniest picture on Facebook the other day where there was a gentleman in a suit pulling an officer's arm over to the lady sitting on a bench discretely nursing a baby under a blanket, in front of a HUGE bra ad with boobs everywhere in a store window and I forget what exactly the guy was saying to the officer but something about it being offensive to see her womanhood or something. And you think REALLY? We see more boobs in this generation than ever thanks to Victoria and all she offers... yet a woman with half her body under a blanket, feeding her child makes people cranky.
All that rambling in my head out now... This is of course not the first time this issue has come up or been blogged about, and I'm sorry I'm all over the place, but I just wanted to have my 50 cents worth too.
So here I am... no longer a nursing mommy...
I only nursed Matthew 13 months and he basically cut himself off. One day we were nursing, the next day he was reaching for a sippy and pushed me away when I offered him. Mark on the other hand at 14 months... I cut off cold turkey. I was pregnant at the time with one our Heaven Babies and I just was so sick and it was painful to nurse him feeling so nauseous the whole time and I just cut him off. And he threw his sippy cup at me for a week. Oh, man alive, he hated it. Soooo, needless to say, I'd decided not to do that again. I was content to let Micah just nurse as long as he was wanting. He is 16+ months now and I had started to get comments "oh, you're still nursing?" or really they sounded like this "oh, you're still nursing?" as of late and was answering them politely of course. I would have liked to have said "Yup, doesn't seem to bother him" each time but didn't. But really, what difference is it to anyone? Jamie always said that when the kid can ask for it, he'd rather I be done... and um... the other day when Micah came up to me, pulled at my shirt and signed "more", we both looked at each other like, "hmmmmmm he's sort of asking for some, huh?" So, I knew it was time. I knew we were nearing on the end. It's just so big though, because... it is the end. It's the end of me having babies in the house... of me needing to wear a nursing bra.... of me bringing a nursing cover wherever we go.... of me having to pick shirts over dresses.... of a tiny precious baby needing something that only I have for him.
I have so many thoughts about this. And it's so interesting too because you always hear "Wait till you're a mother" about things growing up, you know? Well, I'd long ago formed opinions about breastfeeding and formula and pureeing your own baby food (go ahead and laugh mom) and crying it out and co-sleeping and pacifiers and all this stuff. Everyone does. At some point in a girl's life, she starts dreaming about being a mom. And in those dreams she starts planning what she will and wont do...There are just some things that you have NO CLUE about until after the fact.
I can honestly tell you that most if not all of my pre-child formed opinions are NOT the same as my post-child opinions. AND even so much that my first-time-mom opinions greatly differ from my mother-of-three opinions. Some examples just for laughs: I never wanted my child to have a pacifier. Never. What's the point? And then I became the human pacifier for Matthew. So, now Micah has probably 6 pacifiers, he likes toting them all around and I color coordinate his bandanas on his paci towels for church each week with his outfit. And I don't care. And people who say "Oh why does he still have his Binky. He doesn't need a paci. Isn't he too old for a Binky?" make me nuts! You go be a human pacifier for two years and have a baby suckling on you every 45 minutes and see how you like it?? Your opinions change with motherhood. They just do. Time, circumstance, experience... first hand experience changes you. Matthew wouldn't take a bottle. Ever. I think he had a total of 5 bottles his whole life. He nursed and went right to a sippy cup at 13 months. ... Yah buddy at 6 months, Mark was having a sippy cup. "HERE!" "TAKE IT!" I made people give him bottles even when I was there because I wasn't walking that road again. My friend J has a saying she says often "I've already been on that field trip and I don't want to go back." So true. You learn. You evolve in your thinking and understanding. Do I think Micah is going to go to college with a paci tied to bandana? No. Eventually we'll get him to put it in the bed only, you know, for nap and bed times. And then some day we'll take it away from him when he's ready... Until then, shut it people.
Another example: co-sleeping... I co-slept for the first couple months with each child but always was pretty adamant with getting them into their own beds (or playpens in our room) soon. I didn't want to lay down with my kids at night in their beds, I didn't want them in my beds... soooo, the past few weeks, Matthew still CLEARLY needs a nap some days. He's tired, he's worn out, we've been GO GO GO this whole summer... the only way I can get him to sleep is if I lay with him for a few minutes. Okay. SIGN ME UP! Today even, I said "we're all taking a nap!" I don't give a care what I used to think or said... shoot! If it means that he rests for an hour and we all can have a nice evening without a cranky monster for a 6 year old, works for me! That means I get to lay down for 15 minutes and do nothing except think and breathe. Okay. Double Score.
I'm side trailing myself though...
Back to the nursing issue.... at the doctor's office today, there was this tv in the waiting room on the health accent channel, I'm sure you've all seen one or similar... Anyhow, I hear "While breastfeeding is still recommended for the first 6 months of life, if you can't....." and it got me thinking. Who cares? Why is it a big issue? Why is it anyone's business? It is probably easily the most controversy of all baby issues... "how are you going to feed the baby?" My sister and I were both bottle fed and we've turned out alright. My boys are all breastfed. Did I decide that because I wasn't nursed as a baby? No. Do you remember being nursed as a baby? I sure don't remember having a bottle when I close my eyes and think way back. Does it matter that we didn't stop at 6 months or at a year or at 15 months? No. Who cares? Everyone has an opinion though... And... I'm learning that even my own opinions change change change with the passing season. In this season of my life... if Jamie wasn't prompting me to stop, I could easily see myself co-sleeping with Micah and still nursing him for a long time. In fact when I was away from Jamie for so long this summer, there were nights when Micah came to bed with me. Since we were in the same room, I'd hear him when he woke mid night and instead of just waiting for him to self-soothe, I really didn't want to be bothered, so I pull him in bed with me, he'd nurse himself back to sleep and we'd both be fine until morning. If someone would have told my "first time mommy opinion" self that, she'd have argued with you. But this "mother of three opinion" self just doesn't care. Bill Cosby is so dang smack on in his comedy bit about just wanting peace. As long as no one is crying... I don't care what is happening. I really don't. Sure, I don't want the kids climbing on the furniture or smacking each other or burying stuff in the yard. Sure I don't want crayons on the walls or bugs in the kitchen sink, but honestly, if nursing a baby in your bed means that you both sleep well... Well... who cares? In ten, fifteen, twenty years will it matter? ..... nope.
I'll leave you with this... There's all this big talk about it not being polite to nurse in public...and it was very hard for me to nurse Matthew in public. I'd go back to the car or I'd sit in the bathroom if we were out places... It got easier the more comfortable I felt in my abilities to be discrete and of course depending on where we were with each child... I could pretty much nurse Micah anywhere, gimme a nursing cover and blanket and who cares...that comes with trial and error of course, but anyhow.... I saw the funniest picture on Facebook the other day where there was a gentleman in a suit pulling an officer's arm over to the lady sitting on a bench discretely nursing a baby under a blanket, in front of a HUGE bra ad with boobs everywhere in a store window and I forget what exactly the guy was saying to the officer but something about it being offensive to see her womanhood or something. And you think REALLY? We see more boobs in this generation than ever thanks to Victoria and all she offers... yet a woman with half her body under a blanket, feeding her child makes people cranky.
All that rambling in my head out now... This is of course not the first time this issue has come up or been blogged about, and I'm sorry I'm all over the place, but I just wanted to have my 50 cents worth too.
So here I am... no longer a nursing mommy...
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Goodnight, Themly.
Today was the anniversary of my Great Grandmother's birthday. It was a somber-ish day to say the least. It always hits me. Each year a little differently. Today my mom and I cried on the phone for a moment or two. Neither one said her name, yet we talked about her. This August will be 8 years without her. How I miss her. How I wish she could see these small children of mine. How I wish I could talk to her about raising boys. She raised her own two and then helped to raise three more. How I wish I could show her Micah's blue eyes like Grandpa's. ... oh so many things. I wish I could still sing for her. I can remember so many nights that I'd stay over and use her cane for a microphone and sing my heart's content out. I wish I could drink in her pink cups and eat Eskimo pies with her while watching Family Feud. I wish I could walk through her old house and touch the babies and dolls and see her roses in the yard. I just miss her. Oh Thelmy, I miss you.
But there is comfort in knowing where she is. There is joy in knowing who she's with. She is at the feet of our Maker, praising His name for all of eternity... and she has the joy of knowing two sweet angels that I long for.
Dear Lord, please if such a thing is possible, please tell my Thelmy that I love her so much, please tell Grandpa that I'm being a good little girl. That I am trying to raise these boys up to be doers of the Word and to be strong godly men to follow after You. Please continue to heal my heart and my mom's broken heart too. Thank you Jesus for all we do have. Thank you Lord for all you have given us. Amen.
But there is comfort in knowing where she is. There is joy in knowing who she's with. She is at the feet of our Maker, praising His name for all of eternity... and she has the joy of knowing two sweet angels that I long for.
Dear Lord, please if such a thing is possible, please tell my Thelmy that I love her so much, please tell Grandpa that I'm being a good little girl. That I am trying to raise these boys up to be doers of the Word and to be strong godly men to follow after You. Please continue to heal my heart and my mom's broken heart too. Thank you Jesus for all we do have. Thank you Lord for all you have given us. Amen.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year. And all that jazz.
Christmas was so wonderful. I'll have to come back to that and recap later but it was. ... It's New Year's Eve and I'm sitting on my best friend's couch... she's here, holding the baby--who's snoring, my husband is next to me playing angry birds, the older children are down stairs playing trains (ah, the power of a monitor) and cousin Kaitlyn is playing her own game. It's quiet and happy here. The dishwasher is running, the children are laughing (of course there is the occasional "Heeeeey." or "Marrrrrrrk." or "I had that first!!!" but ... that's part of it, isn't it?), there isn't a pressing schedule or an agenda... in fact any plans we had for this trip went down down down the toilet (and I do mean that literally)... being visited by the puke bug ((Which makes TWO Christmases in a ROW for Matthew)) makes any plans made obsolete. There will be other trips for dates and dinners and movies. As I sit here, I'm trying to think of something witty or clever or even sarcastic, but I can't, so I'll move on. It was awful. I'm so glad it's over. Of the five kids, only one hasn't been sick yet. Of the four adults, two. But even amid that, it was a nice trip. As soon as Micah is up and fed again we'll be leaving and perhaps it seems odd to be sitting here, typing about our trip when we're not even left yet, however the opportunity presented itself. The quiet is such a rare thing in my world. So while it's quiet I thought I'd take a glance back at this past year, as it's fitting to do on New Year's.
I'm sitting here without a calendar or anything to refresh my memory, but the most notable thing in 2011 was the birth of my third son. Micah Henry was born in March. He's our miracle baby, our Micah Bear, our love, our joy, the troll and destroyer. . . He's my little blondie. Everyone asks me "Oh, were Matthew and Mark born light haired too?" Nope. Just Micah Bear. This was a very special and precious time for me. My mom gave up so much. She sacrificed quite a bit to help me in this time, for a lengthy time, and I'm so grateful for her help in welcoming Micah to this world. I don't know what we'd have done without you dear Mom.
In March besides adding a newborn to our house, we also added a full time Daddy. Jamie received an interview phone call while we were in labor with Micah-- no joke-- in the hospital. He began his new job at the end of the month! He's been working from home ever since. There is the occasional traveling involved, but mostly he's home full time. It's wonderful. There was a lot of learning to do with a new baby and a new job, but we've learned a new dance in this life and it's a nice one.
There was family coming and going most of the spring. And then the big event of 2011 happened in June... Matthew's fifth birthday... no! Just kidding! on June 25th, my sister married the man of her dreams. I am so blessed by their marriage. Brian is such a wonderful man and she is so happy. I'm so tickled for her and am excited to see what comes their way. God has truly blessed the two of us with such wonderful husbands. I pray that God continues to bless them.
Matthew started Kindergarten in the fall. (eeeeeeeee!)
My dad was baptized in August and visited us in September, and it was the most wonderful trip we'd ever spent together. The Lord was and still is doing wonderful things in my dad's life.
September also brought Jamie's dad who started staying with us weekly while he had acquired his own new job in Atlanta. We enjoyed a sweet season of Papa staying with us, playing and loving on the boys.
November brought us the best Thanksgiving possible.
December gave Jamie's parents a new house.
And here I am, in MO for a lengthy trip and sadly it's been a not so much fun with all the puking, tummy hurting, headaching, yucky stuff going on, but it's still been good never-the-less. Being with family is good. Regardless of what's going on, regardless of who's sick or well, being with family is just so wonderful. So since the small child has woken up and been passed to his daddy from the best friend and I need to feed him... I guess I'll think about goals and such at a later time. I will say this, I'm looking forward to 2012. I can't wait to see how God continues to faithfully bless and grow my family. I'm excited to see where He will take us in this new year. May I remember to keep HIM as my focus no matter what I'm doing. And I know He will see me through anything that is to come.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
What’s in a name?
Lately, a certain member of my family has been extremely cranky. He’s been rude and loud and angry … a lot. Now, it could be that he’s two. And two year olds operate a little differently than other ages. But the meanness and the crankiness has got to stop. Two or ten, it isn’t allowed. I had something gnawing at me about his name lately… and I couldn’t remember for sure what Mark meant so I looked it up again. I was thinking it meant war-like or something which right now was all too fitting… As it turns out, in some places, Mark simply means “Warring.” Awesome huh? In some it only translates into things related to the planet Mars or the god of Mars such as “From Mars” or “Red like Mars” or “of the War-god from Mars.” The one I like the best says that his name means “Warring, polite and shinning.” That is the one I’m going to claim for him. I believe that he can and will be a warrior. But I also think he can be polite and shinning. The cranky crank monster has got to go. And I do know that he’s two. And usually, we are aware that the second half of the year is worse behavior wise, as they get closer and closer to the birthday… but buddy, I’m about to pull my hair out with the meanness. It’s got to stop. So, Mr. Warrior… I’d like you to be a kind brother please. ...I like the shinning part of the meaning. Shining. Ooo shining. It makes me smile to say it. I wonder what about Mark will be shining. His personality already is. I wonder what else. Hopefully his conscious, if we can get past the warring, will be. I need to teach my little buddy to be a polite shining warrior instead of a warring meany.
Do you ever think about what your child’s name means? Does it fit nicely like a glove? Or is it comical? (My dad’s name is comical… Paul means small) Is it true? Could it some day be true? Do you pray that they’ll grow into their names? Or have you ever given it any thought at all. This is just something that I’ve been thinking about lately. Back “in the day” there was a lot of thought given to names. In biblical times, the meaning of your name told your story. I’m thinking specifically of Naomi and Ruth here. Naomi means pleasant. She wanted to change her own name to Mara which means bitter be/c she was so bitter about her circumstances but only she referred to herself as Mara. God did not. He continued to call her Naomi. And Ruth… Ruth, her daughter-in-law, her friend, her only family… Ruth means “Companion, friendship.” Oh isn’t that neat?! Doesn’t it just give you chills to know that God, the Author and perfecter of our Faith knows our names. Even in the womb He knew us and called us by name? (Ps. 139) Doesn’t that just make you feel loved!?
Micah’s name means “who is like God.” This could mean many different things. There are many attributes to God and of God’s character. Henry means “Ruler of the Home.” I see this going many different ways as well. Already, he rules my home. My day is set about based on his nursing schedule. We’ve also given him the nickname of Bear and isn’t that the truth. He’s the loudest of the bunch and he’s still so small. Hopefully he’ll grow into a Teddy Bear and not be a Grizzly Bear.
Matthew means “God’s gift” and that he is. He is my sweet gift, my first born, my first son. Christopher means “Christ bearer” and how I will pray that this name will be truth. I pray that he will grow in the Lord and bear Christ. I pray that he will truly learn to love and know the Lord and know Christ as his personal Savior and proclaim the truth. What a powerful and wonderful name he has. I am so thankful for my gift from the Lord.
Mark’s first name I’ve discussed, but his middle name, Edward, means “wealthy guardian, protector.” Now isn’t that cool? My little warrior is also a protector to be. And hopefully a guardian over wealth. I can pray that he doesn’t become a squander-er but a guardian.
Besides your children’s names… do you ever think about your own name? I do. Especially my middle name. As it means bitter. And so often I am. I try not to be. But I hold grudges awful. And I’m bitter and broken about a lot in my life. I wonder how much is because of the name given to me? Perhaps learning this meaning can help me to remove some bitterness in my life, to free myself from it. I can hope so. I am praying about it. Katherine means pure. I love this. I think it’s a very special and pretty meaning for my first name. It’s funny together “pure” and “bitter” but it’s who I am.
I really had some fun with this and continued to look up names of loved ones… Here’s a list I’ve compiled.
Nancy—gracious
Paul—small
Krystle—clear, brilliant glass
Marie—bitter sea
Brian—strong one
Jamie—supplanter
Thelma—ambitious
Ray—wise protector
Mildred—mild strength
Len—like a lion
Sandy—helper of humanity
Chuck—manly, farmer
Kimberly—ruler
Rick—powerful, rich
Deb—honey bee
Dan—God is my judge
Esther—star
Nicole—victory of the people
John—God is gracious, merciful
Jonathan—Gift of God
Allison—of Noble Birth
Anna—gracious
Lee—Sheltered from storm
I love how my mom’s name means gracious and how her middle name, Janette, means God is gracious. I wonder if my grandparents knew. I know I’m grateful for her. And she is such a gracious person. Doubly fitting.
I find my dad’s name comical.
I see my grandpa… both grandpas names as truth in their names.
I’ve really enjoyed this little quest I’ve been on for a couple days.
Signed…
Pure and Bitter
Mother to
God’s gift and
Warring, Polite, Shinning and
Who is like God.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
How He Loves Me
Oh. How He Loves Me Oh.
Oh. How He Loves Me. Oh.
Oh. How He Loves Me. Oh.
He is Jealous for Me. Wind like a hurricane, I am the tree. ...
Have you heard this song?
go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzfPHnoT0-0
I can't stop singing it in my head. Our church did it Sunday and I've of course heard it on the radio before but never has it touched me in such a way. OH. HOW HE LOVES ME OH! God is Jealous for you. Do you feel it? Do you see Him? Do you feel His love?
I am so thankful that I do.
Oh. How He Loves Me. Oh.
Oh. How He Loves Me. Oh.
He is Jealous for Me. Wind like a hurricane, I am the tree. ...
Have you heard this song?
go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzfPHnoT0-0
I can't stop singing it in my head. Our church did it Sunday and I've of course heard it on the radio before but never has it touched me in such a way. OH. HOW HE LOVES ME OH! God is Jealous for you. Do you feel it? Do you see Him? Do you feel His love?
I am so thankful that I do.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
who knew
School shopping is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure.
After grabbing the couple items at Kroger and Publix on sale cheaper than Walmart's ad, I made my way to the mega store this morning with my list in hand. I will say it was pretty cool to have gotten the list last week and first, walked outside (I can't seem to figure out how to spell the past tense of the word mosey) to the storage and began a decent size pile from what was already in the stockpile. Ziplock bags I remember being BOGO at Publix a while back were added to this pile. What's a box of tissue or two from the leaning tower of Kleenex? This was a very cool feeling. About a third of the list I already had at home! Next year my goal will be to have half if not most of the school items waiting for school to start. Anyhow, I derailed. So... making my way up and down the "back to school" aisles at Walmart with all the other crazy moms there, I've got some general observations from today's experiences.
I'm sure glad I did not have my kids with me. I will continue to do "school shopping" WITHOUT my kids with me in the future whatever it takes. Wow. It's hard enough to manage the shopping cart without running into anyone else or being blocked by someone else or blocking in someone yourself when you're solo. Can you imagine three kids tramping along (not that Micah tramps yet).... aye. The moms there today that I saw had ten year old kid A saying "I want this folder, can I have this folder, I need this folder" and five year old kid B saying "Let me pick my own crayons, Mommmmmy I have to have my own box" and 7 year old kid C saying "I don't like that notebook. I don't like any of these notebooks." I'm so not kidding. The lady today that made me laugh and actually I really had to stop myself from laughing out loud was with 5 year old kid D saying "I don't need glue. We not gonna glue Mommy. You don't like glue. Why you put glue in there? I not gonna glue. I get sticky. Mommy why we buyin glue?" Can't you just see that unfolding before your eyes? And just think, if I had my kids with me, you know I'd have been one of those ladies. I will admit, I did call Jamie and ask to talk to Matthew (which I'm sure he thought was silly) and asked Matthew which lunch box he'd rather because I couldn't find either of his favorites and had to substitute in second and third runner ups. And I will also say that I was super grateful for the Experienced Mom in the store. When I was down to literally my (second to) LAST item and I couldn't find it, after walking up and down three times each aisle deciding it HAD to be SOMEWHERE... I started asking "Excuse me, sorry, this is my first time shopping for school supplies, do you know where to find X notebook?" I got two blank stares and then the Experienced Mom stepped up. "What kind of notebook?" she asked me. "Um, this Mead Primary Journal, I think it's like a composition book, but I don't know where to find it" she goes "Oh, it's one aisle over, on the left." I stared at her. "Really?" She said "Yup, I'll show you. I have three kids, the youngest is six." I said, "I have three kids, the oldest is five." She smiled so nicely at me as if to say 'you crazy fool, ha ha ha, I'm done with that.' No, in all honesty, I was glad for her help. She knew right where it was and she wasn't snarky about helping which is really nice in a world where like no one wants to help anyone ever.
I did have to go to Hobby Lobby for the last item on the list but that's okay, I knew I was going to go there, they have the cheapest plain white t-shirts I've seen so I hauled myself over there after the walmart craziness was over.
But! At least I'm done with that!
Matthew has a rockin' new backpack and (non-matching) lunch box.
Both Matthew and Mark have new "rest" towels.
All three boys acquired new clothes today. I couldn't help myself ... there was a onesie that said "stud" and had the picture of a muffin on it. So yah, Micah's got that waiting on him for the right size. $3 dollar clearance item!
I have crayons and colored pencils and markers and erasers and gluesticks and folders coming out my ears! BUT... I do not have to suffer the masses with the children in tow! And for that I'm thankful.
After grabbing the couple items at Kroger and Publix on sale cheaper than Walmart's ad, I made my way to the mega store this morning with my list in hand. I will say it was pretty cool to have gotten the list last week and first, walked outside (I can't seem to figure out how to spell the past tense of the word mosey) to the storage and began a decent size pile from what was already in the stockpile. Ziplock bags I remember being BOGO at Publix a while back were added to this pile. What's a box of tissue or two from the leaning tower of Kleenex? This was a very cool feeling. About a third of the list I already had at home! Next year my goal will be to have half if not most of the school items waiting for school to start. Anyhow, I derailed. So... making my way up and down the "back to school" aisles at Walmart with all the other crazy moms there, I've got some general observations from today's experiences.
I'm sure glad I did not have my kids with me. I will continue to do "school shopping" WITHOUT my kids with me in the future whatever it takes. Wow. It's hard enough to manage the shopping cart without running into anyone else or being blocked by someone else or blocking in someone yourself when you're solo. Can you imagine three kids tramping along (not that Micah tramps yet).... aye. The moms there today that I saw had ten year old kid A saying "I want this folder, can I have this folder, I need this folder" and five year old kid B saying "Let me pick my own crayons, Mommmmmy I have to have my own box" and 7 year old kid C saying "I don't like that notebook. I don't like any of these notebooks." I'm so not kidding. The lady today that made me laugh and actually I really had to stop myself from laughing out loud was with 5 year old kid D saying "I don't need glue. We not gonna glue Mommy. You don't like glue. Why you put glue in there? I not gonna glue. I get sticky. Mommy why we buyin glue?" Can't you just see that unfolding before your eyes? And just think, if I had my kids with me, you know I'd have been one of those ladies. I will admit, I did call Jamie and ask to talk to Matthew (which I'm sure he thought was silly) and asked Matthew which lunch box he'd rather because I couldn't find either of his favorites and had to substitute in second and third runner ups. And I will also say that I was super grateful for the Experienced Mom in the store. When I was down to literally my (second to) LAST item and I couldn't find it, after walking up and down three times each aisle deciding it HAD to be SOMEWHERE... I started asking "Excuse me, sorry, this is my first time shopping for school supplies, do you know where to find X notebook?" I got two blank stares and then the Experienced Mom stepped up. "What kind of notebook?" she asked me. "Um, this Mead Primary Journal, I think it's like a composition book, but I don't know where to find it" she goes "Oh, it's one aisle over, on the left." I stared at her. "Really?" She said "Yup, I'll show you. I have three kids, the youngest is six." I said, "I have three kids, the oldest is five." She smiled so nicely at me as if to say 'you crazy fool, ha ha ha, I'm done with that.' No, in all honesty, I was glad for her help. She knew right where it was and she wasn't snarky about helping which is really nice in a world where like no one wants to help anyone ever.
I did have to go to Hobby Lobby for the last item on the list but that's okay, I knew I was going to go there, they have the cheapest plain white t-shirts I've seen so I hauled myself over there after the walmart craziness was over.
But! At least I'm done with that!
Matthew has a rockin' new backpack and (non-matching) lunch box.
Both Matthew and Mark have new "rest" towels.
All three boys acquired new clothes today. I couldn't help myself ... there was a onesie that said "stud" and had the picture of a muffin on it. So yah, Micah's got that waiting on him for the right size. $3 dollar clearance item!
I have crayons and colored pencils and markers and erasers and gluesticks and folders coming out my ears! BUT... I do not have to suffer the masses with the children in tow! And for that I'm thankful.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
some things
Micah is laughing now. This amazes me. Wasn't he just born last week? How is my baby three months old, laughing, and caught today on his side trying to turn over?!
It's been a while since I've been in a wedding.... I'd forgotten that it's hard. And this particular wedding more than any other-- I'm the MOH. anyone seen... that movie... Mr. Made of Honor... Mr... Male of... Made... shoot! I can't remember what it's called but it's got Mr. McDreamy as the male lead and he's been asked by his best friend to be her best man -- maid of honor... shoot! I can't come up with the title. Someone please leave a comment and tell this poor sleep deprived crazy what that movie is called.--- ANYHOW the whole point of the movie reference is that it's all about being the MOH. How the other chick is all uber jealous about not able to be the MOH and how McDreamy isn't doing the job proper justice and and and... ............. and.... I feel like there are so many tiny details to work it's self out and that I should be doing more than I am. anyhow, that was entirely more rambling and random than I think I meant to be about it. hmmm. ALL That said... I love it. I love being a part of this awesome day with my sister. We left the reception site tonight and I just looked at her and said "it's haaaaapennnnninnnnng!" It is. My sister is getting married and I couldn't be more tickled!
I found out tonight that a dear darling friend of mine's son was baptised on Sunday. I can't even begin to properly express my feelings of complete joy I have right now. PRAISE THE LORD! Praise the Lord !
It's been a while since I've been in a wedding.... I'd forgotten that it's hard. And this particular wedding more than any other-- I'm the MOH. anyone seen... that movie... Mr. Made of Honor... Mr... Male of... Made... shoot! I can't remember what it's called but it's got Mr. McDreamy as the male lead and he's been asked by his best friend to be her best man -- maid of honor... shoot! I can't come up with the title. Someone please leave a comment and tell this poor sleep deprived crazy what that movie is called.--- ANYHOW the whole point of the movie reference is that it's all about being the MOH. How the other chick is all uber jealous about not able to be the MOH and how McDreamy isn't doing the job proper justice and and and... ............. and.... I feel like there are so many tiny details to work it's self out and that I should be doing more than I am. anyhow, that was entirely more rambling and random than I think I meant to be about it. hmmm. ALL That said... I love it. I love being a part of this awesome day with my sister. We left the reception site tonight and I just looked at her and said "it's haaaaapennnnninnnnng!" It is. My sister is getting married and I couldn't be more tickled!
I found out tonight that a dear darling friend of mine's son was baptised on Sunday. I can't even begin to properly express my feelings of complete joy I have right now. PRAISE THE LORD! Praise the Lord !
Thursday, February 24, 2011
goodnight my angel
A year ago today, God took a second child of mine home to Heaven. Has it really been a year? I will not contemplate too much on this today. I will acknowledge my sweet angel but I will not sit and cry today. God is so good. He's faithful and HE IS IN CONTROL. I'm so so blessed to be carrying this child, this gift I'd never known I needed until He gave it to me. Sweet baby in Heaven, I do yearn to meet you in Glory some day. I am blessed to know where you are and to know you are with your brother or sister who went before you.
Thank you God for all you do. For all you are. For all you have given me. Both in love and loss. I will CHOOSE to say "blessed be YOUR name."
Thank you God for all you do. For all you are. For all you have given me. Both in love and loss. I will CHOOSE to say "blessed be YOUR name."
Thursday, February 10, 2011
whatever is lovely 2
So last year, I wrote this out after Valentine's Day...
I find myself thinking "I don't like February" some times. But right now I'm trying to focus on JESUS instead of my circumstances. And when I focus on Jesus, I find myself being thankful. Grateful. And I find my thoughts drifting to this amazing man that HE has given to me. I'm so blessed by Jamie. And I'm so grateful for his love. I'm so blessed by him and by our relationship. I'm so thankful for the valleys we've come through so that we can stand strong when we are on the mountain peaks. Thank you God for Jamie and thank you for all the valleys and mountains we have come through and those we've yet to walk through--together.
I'm also very blessed by the children He's given me. All of them. I can't believe at the end of this month, it will be a year since we lost another babe to Heaven and three years since our first angel went Home. I'm so so blessed by my boys. I love Matthew and Mark more than words can say. They truly have completed me in ways I didn't know I needed to be completed. There is nothing better than being a mom. As I await the arrival of this new life inside me, I'm again amazed at the beauty of life. I'm so thankful for LOVE. Love of the Father in Heaven who gives life. Love of the Father in Heaven who IS life.
Thank you Jesus for being my FIRST LOVE. Thank you for FIRST LOVING ME. Help me to be the wife and mother I need to be for my husband and my children.
As Valentine's Day approaches, let us remember the best gift of all from the one who loves us the most--- Christ died on a tree so that you and I could truly be free. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to die for me.
As the things in this world seem to be crashing around, I need to be mindful of where my thoughts are. I want them focused on JESUS CHRIST, not on the circumstances before me. I need to train my mind to think on these things:
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8
I find myself thinking "I don't like February" some times. But right now I'm trying to focus on JESUS instead of my circumstances. And when I focus on Jesus, I find myself being thankful. Grateful. And I find my thoughts drifting to this amazing man that HE has given to me. I'm so blessed by Jamie. And I'm so grateful for his love. I'm so blessed by him and by our relationship. I'm so thankful for the valleys we've come through so that we can stand strong when we are on the mountain peaks. Thank you God for Jamie and thank you for all the valleys and mountains we have come through and those we've yet to walk through--together.
I'm also very blessed by the children He's given me. All of them. I can't believe at the end of this month, it will be a year since we lost another babe to Heaven and three years since our first angel went Home. I'm so so blessed by my boys. I love Matthew and Mark more than words can say. They truly have completed me in ways I didn't know I needed to be completed. There is nothing better than being a mom. As I await the arrival of this new life inside me, I'm again amazed at the beauty of life. I'm so thankful for LOVE. Love of the Father in Heaven who gives life. Love of the Father in Heaven who IS life.
Thank you Jesus for being my FIRST LOVE. Thank you for FIRST LOVING ME. Help me to be the wife and mother I need to be for my husband and my children.
As Valentine's Day approaches, let us remember the best gift of all from the one who loves us the most--- Christ died on a tree so that you and I could truly be free. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to die for me.
As the things in this world seem to be crashing around, I need to be mindful of where my thoughts are. I want them focused on JESUS CHRIST, not on the circumstances before me. I need to train my mind to think on these things:
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. Philippians 4:8
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
baby in there
I haven't been posting many baby updates with this pregnancy, but I'm trucking along and getting closer to the finish line, so I'm guessing there will be more.
Yesterday I had a normal check up/appointment and it was eventful to say the least.
Dilated to a one already. That could mean something, that could mean nothing.
Oh yah, and I have a hernia... which explains why I feel like this child is coming out THROUGH my belly button. At night sometimes I just cry. I can't get comfortable. There is so much pressure. I thought it was be/c of a foot pressing on me or something, nope. Add one more to the "if it will happen, it will happen to Kate" theory.
Next week we have an ultrasound scheduled to check on baby's size and the fluid levels. We'll see what's going on at that point, if anything has changed with the hernia. Bad news is there is really nothing I can do. Tylenol that's it. Really bad news, if it doesn't heal on it's own after delivery, I'm looking at surgery 6 weeks post pardom. Great.... super great....
SOOO. I know God can do miracles and I'm going to start believing that this hernia will go away. I will NOT need surgery with a tiny one at home. And we'll make it to the most healthy delivery date we can. For me and baby bear in there.
...funny on Sunday, a girl in Matthew's Sunday school class said "Are you pregnant again?!" And I said "well, I'm still pregnant. It's the same baby still" (I'd been subbing in the class a couple weeks ago). She said "well, you need to go to the doctor get that baby out for real". How right you are little one.
Yesterday I had a normal check up/appointment and it was eventful to say the least.
Dilated to a one already. That could mean something, that could mean nothing.
Oh yah, and I have a hernia... which explains why I feel like this child is coming out THROUGH my belly button. At night sometimes I just cry. I can't get comfortable. There is so much pressure. I thought it was be/c of a foot pressing on me or something, nope. Add one more to the "if it will happen, it will happen to Kate" theory.
Next week we have an ultrasound scheduled to check on baby's size and the fluid levels. We'll see what's going on at that point, if anything has changed with the hernia. Bad news is there is really nothing I can do. Tylenol that's it. Really bad news, if it doesn't heal on it's own after delivery, I'm looking at surgery 6 weeks post pardom. Great.... super great....
SOOO. I know God can do miracles and I'm going to start believing that this hernia will go away. I will NOT need surgery with a tiny one at home. And we'll make it to the most healthy delivery date we can. For me and baby bear in there.
...funny on Sunday, a girl in Matthew's Sunday school class said "Are you pregnant again?!" And I said "well, I'm still pregnant. It's the same baby still" (I'd been subbing in the class a couple weeks ago). She said "well, you need to go to the doctor get that baby out for real". How right you are little one.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Jan recap
Let's start with money...
I spent $371.62 which is over my budgeted amount but I ended up with extra thanks to babysitting money, so I'm not burdened with this like I was in December. Good grief December STUNK money wise. I will be much more prepared for December this year thank you very much! My budget is 360 for the month, divided out I get $180 every other week on pay day for grocery spending. This includes all groceries, cleaning supplies, laundry, paper products, diapers... So, $371.62 sounds pretty good to me, knowing that I had my grocery allowance and some on top still in my purse!
In spending $371.62, I saved $340.57 for a saving percentage of 47.82% !!! This knocks out October and November's savings by far. My goal is to get at least 50% or higher in savings verses spending and I'm getting there!
Right now things I don't need to buy again for a LONG time include:
-toothpaste (I think Jamie has 15, I have 5 or 6, Matthew has one spare)
-shampoo (I think we're at 11 spares)
-baby soap/shampoo (7 spares)
-wipes (I have about a two month supply thanks to Amazon Mom)
-laundry soap (we have 9 and I have a rain check for 6 more, thank you CVS for your killer sale on Wisk when the $2.00 coupon came out!)
I'm not going to list food items all out but I'm really pleased with where my stockpile is going right now. I'm needing some deals on jelly and ketchup and toilet paper and paper towels, but they will come, I'm sure.
One other thing, is I didn't realize JUST how much trying to stock up on the grains was going to be hard.... I've got rice and pasta and oatmeal coming out my shelves and we're no where near close to even one person's six month supply. I may just try to get things at a two week supply and then move forward to a month, two months, etc. Perhaps I bit off to much in my desire to go go go !
Book wise:
-I still haven't finished "Scream free parenting"... I'm close to the end but for some reason having a hard time finishing it. I want to go through it though and review my notes (yes I write in my books) and make the best of what I've tried to glean from it. I will say that I haven't agreed with all he's said to do, but it has helped some and I have taken much from it.
-I have started Sense and Sensibility and wow... it's been a long time since I read something that really took effort to sift through it. I like the story and where it's going, but her writing is hard for me to take in with all the distractions of mommy-hood. I used to read things like this in HS and college, it's nice to go back to a familiar place.
OT wise:
Well, we're still without right now. But we're also making slow slow progress. EVERY SINGLE DAY he has taken a bite of something at dinner. Sometimes it was A, one, single blueberry or A, one, single corn kernel, but it was something. Something is more than nothing. Yesterday, Matthew and I listed out each and everything he tried either by touching it to his mouth or by biting it and it was pretty cool to see it all listed out! (this was possible be/c I wrote on the calendar each day what he tried). We promised that we'd do the same thing in February. Every single day, try something new... I know he can do this. I know we're getting better. But the hard days are just so so hard still and seem like the world is ending when they appear. It's hard to not lose focus but I need to just keep reminding myself that THE DEVIL WILL NOT HAVE OUR MEAL TIME. And we shall overcome this!
Mark:
Mark had his 2 year well check visit, finally! It was postponed once be/c he was sick and then postponed again be/c of our week of snow, but he finally went in. He's wonderful. He is growing and excelling. What's funny is that I see him as a little pudgy. He's got a little belly on him, but he's only in the 25% for weight his age. I was like, "really?" so even though I think he's built maybe a bit more like me, maybe both my boys will be skinny dudes like their daddy.
Pants:
Speaking of skinny... Matthew is in size fives now... however 5R (regular) fallllllls off him. We've reached a new kind of stupid in clothes for kids... he needs 5 S (slim) pants for them to stay on. He for sure has his daddy's build.
Baby wise:
Baby is doing good. He or she is so active. So so active. Each and every night it feels like there is a soccer game going on in my tummy. As soon as the boys are in bed and I sit down to rest on the couch with Jamie, this kiddo starts kicking a ball around. Bam! Bam! Bam! from one side to the other side to the other side. As much as I could complain about it, I really try not to. I'm very thankful for this gift God has given me of reassurance each night that everything is okay and Baby Bear is doing well. -- or at least doing. I go back to see Kendra on Monday. I can't believe we're approaching the end... NEXT MONTH, our miracle baby will be here. Craziness.
Well, I guess that's all the updating for now.
I spent $371.62 which is over my budgeted amount but I ended up with extra thanks to babysitting money, so I'm not burdened with this like I was in December. Good grief December STUNK money wise. I will be much more prepared for December this year thank you very much! My budget is 360 for the month, divided out I get $180 every other week on pay day for grocery spending. This includes all groceries, cleaning supplies, laundry, paper products, diapers... So, $371.62 sounds pretty good to me, knowing that I had my grocery allowance and some on top still in my purse!
In spending $371.62, I saved $340.57 for a saving percentage of 47.82% !!! This knocks out October and November's savings by far. My goal is to get at least 50% or higher in savings verses spending and I'm getting there!
Right now things I don't need to buy again for a LONG time include:
-toothpaste (I think Jamie has 15, I have 5 or 6, Matthew has one spare)
-shampoo (I think we're at 11 spares)
-baby soap/shampoo (7 spares)
-wipes (I have about a two month supply thanks to Amazon Mom)
-laundry soap (we have 9 and I have a rain check for 6 more, thank you CVS for your killer sale on Wisk when the $2.00 coupon came out!)
I'm not going to list food items all out but I'm really pleased with where my stockpile is going right now. I'm needing some deals on jelly and ketchup and toilet paper and paper towels, but they will come, I'm sure.
One other thing, is I didn't realize JUST how much trying to stock up on the grains was going to be hard.... I've got rice and pasta and oatmeal coming out my shelves and we're no where near close to even one person's six month supply. I may just try to get things at a two week supply and then move forward to a month, two months, etc. Perhaps I bit off to much in my desire to go go go !
Book wise:
-I still haven't finished "Scream free parenting"... I'm close to the end but for some reason having a hard time finishing it. I want to go through it though and review my notes (yes I write in my books) and make the best of what I've tried to glean from it. I will say that I haven't agreed with all he's said to do, but it has helped some and I have taken much from it.
-I have started Sense and Sensibility and wow... it's been a long time since I read something that really took effort to sift through it. I like the story and where it's going, but her writing is hard for me to take in with all the distractions of mommy-hood. I used to read things like this in HS and college, it's nice to go back to a familiar place.
OT wise:
Well, we're still without right now. But we're also making slow slow progress. EVERY SINGLE DAY he has taken a bite of something at dinner. Sometimes it was A, one, single blueberry or A, one, single corn kernel, but it was something. Something is more than nothing. Yesterday, Matthew and I listed out each and everything he tried either by touching it to his mouth or by biting it and it was pretty cool to see it all listed out! (this was possible be/c I wrote on the calendar each day what he tried). We promised that we'd do the same thing in February. Every single day, try something new... I know he can do this. I know we're getting better. But the hard days are just so so hard still and seem like the world is ending when they appear. It's hard to not lose focus but I need to just keep reminding myself that THE DEVIL WILL NOT HAVE OUR MEAL TIME. And we shall overcome this!
Mark:
Mark had his 2 year well check visit, finally! It was postponed once be/c he was sick and then postponed again be/c of our week of snow, but he finally went in. He's wonderful. He is growing and excelling. What's funny is that I see him as a little pudgy. He's got a little belly on him, but he's only in the 25% for weight his age. I was like, "really?" so even though I think he's built maybe a bit more like me, maybe both my boys will be skinny dudes like their daddy.
Pants:
Speaking of skinny... Matthew is in size fives now... however 5R (regular) fallllllls off him. We've reached a new kind of stupid in clothes for kids... he needs 5 S (slim) pants for them to stay on. He for sure has his daddy's build.
Baby wise:
Baby is doing good. He or she is so active. So so active. Each and every night it feels like there is a soccer game going on in my tummy. As soon as the boys are in bed and I sit down to rest on the couch with Jamie, this kiddo starts kicking a ball around. Bam! Bam! Bam! from one side to the other side to the other side. As much as I could complain about it, I really try not to. I'm very thankful for this gift God has given me of reassurance each night that everything is okay and Baby Bear is doing well. -- or at least doing. I go back to see Kendra on Monday. I can't believe we're approaching the end... NEXT MONTH, our miracle baby will be here. Craziness.
Well, I guess that's all the updating for now.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Random
Things you just don't think about...
1. Showering when you're the only one in the house. How many people get to do this? How many moms... don't?
2. Not being able to tie one's shoes...
Other random thoughts...
I had yet another person ask me today if I was "ready" for the baby to come out. I was like ummm yep, in about 9 weeks. The person's eyes bugged out. And wanted to know how many were in there. sigh.
And another person today asked me when the big day was. I said "March 18th" she said "March?! oh you wont make it" ... seriously? How big do I look? Ugh. People are so rude.
1. Showering when you're the only one in the house. How many people get to do this? How many moms... don't?
2. Not being able to tie one's shoes...
Other random thoughts...
I had yet another person ask me today if I was "ready" for the baby to come out. I was like ummm yep, in about 9 weeks. The person's eyes bugged out. And wanted to know how many were in there. sigh.
And another person today asked me when the big day was. I said "March 18th" she said "March?! oh you wont make it" ... seriously? How big do I look? Ugh. People are so rude.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Snow Day times 4 going on 5
Oh mercy. So seeing all the beautiful snow Sunday night falling down was wonderful.
Playing in the fun new snow Monday morning was so nice and new and exciting for the boys, truly wonderful.
Being home Tuesday due to the ice and having Jamie stay home with us for the day was a little like being on vacation and sort of wonderful.
Wed.... well... Wednesday we were starting to get a little cramped in here. The fun of it was gone. Why can't they go to school? Why can't Jamie go to work? There is still ICE every where. Atlanta just isn't capable of handling this type of storm. AND it just isn't getting warm enough to melt it all. Wednesday was a little trying. The wonderfulness was wearing off.
Today was Thursday... Jamie left for work and two hours later returned home after going not far at all, saying he'd passed accidents and people sliding left and right and sat parked on the on ramp to the highway for 20 minutes. Nope. No further going for him. The kids have used up all the fun from their toys and now the only thing that is fun is hitting each other or running from one piece of furniture to the next throwing your whole body into it and flopping around making the parents of the house a little crazy. I think Matthew is over TV and pbskids.org and can only color 400 pages in three days for fun. Today I printed him off MANY preschool worksheets including: counting, coloring, letters, matching, shapes... and he whizzed through then. Let me tell you that today was not so wonderful. I think we're all about ready to pull our hair out. I miss my car. I miss female companionship. I miss other human interaction besides the two small people in this house shrieking all the time.
Tomorrow will be day 5 of being snowed/iced in. There is no school tomorrow again. We've yet to know if Jamie will be going to work or not. (Granted, while he's been home he's been trying to work remotely. Try telling the squealing two year old to "shhhh daddy's on the phone" it's a joke!)
I will say this... THANK YOU JESUS FOR MY STOCKPILE. Seriously. I mean Saturday I was at walmart processing pictures... I saw CRAZY PEOPLE with gallons and gallons of milk in their carts, emptying the soup and bread aisles. I thought, "yah right" ... we've been down here 6 years, I haven't seen more than a couple of inches which melted the next day, you know? We're not going to see any snow sticking and staying on the ground for days ! HA! ... well I was wrong. but at least I was also prepared. We haven't run out of meals to make. We haven't run out of milk be/c I usually buy four at a time since these crazies go through it so fast. We haven't run out of canned goods. We're getting dangerously low on fruit but enough to at least make it through tomorrow I think: 3 bananas and 3 apples left and also a small bag of frozen blueberries. Today we did empty the eggs be/c I made a big "breakfast for dinner" and we ran out of (randomly) pepper. However, there is still meat in the freezer (two whole chickens, ground turkey from a crazy sale, hotdogs, and an opened and unopened bag of nuggets). We still have pasta and plenty of canned and frozen veggies... we still have bread in the freezer as well as nice homemade loaves I made yesterday. So, really we're doing okay. A friend made it to the store the other day and put a pic on FB of the EMPTY meat section. Trucks just can't get in to restock the stores. I don't like being out of eggs, that's just annoying. And I don't like not having a good stash of fruit for my fruit-a-holics, but I'm really pleased with how we aren't neeeeeeeeeding to go to the store. If the milk and cereal and chicken nuggets last... I think we'll be okay.
Playing in the fun new snow Monday morning was so nice and new and exciting for the boys, truly wonderful.
Being home Tuesday due to the ice and having Jamie stay home with us for the day was a little like being on vacation and sort of wonderful.
Wed.... well... Wednesday we were starting to get a little cramped in here. The fun of it was gone. Why can't they go to school? Why can't Jamie go to work? There is still ICE every where. Atlanta just isn't capable of handling this type of storm. AND it just isn't getting warm enough to melt it all. Wednesday was a little trying. The wonderfulness was wearing off.
Today was Thursday... Jamie left for work and two hours later returned home after going not far at all, saying he'd passed accidents and people sliding left and right and sat parked on the on ramp to the highway for 20 minutes. Nope. No further going for him. The kids have used up all the fun from their toys and now the only thing that is fun is hitting each other or running from one piece of furniture to the next throwing your whole body into it and flopping around making the parents of the house a little crazy. I think Matthew is over TV and pbskids.org and can only color 400 pages in three days for fun. Today I printed him off MANY preschool worksheets including: counting, coloring, letters, matching, shapes... and he whizzed through then. Let me tell you that today was not so wonderful. I think we're all about ready to pull our hair out. I miss my car. I miss female companionship. I miss other human interaction besides the two small people in this house shrieking all the time.
Tomorrow will be day 5 of being snowed/iced in. There is no school tomorrow again. We've yet to know if Jamie will be going to work or not. (Granted, while he's been home he's been trying to work remotely. Try telling the squealing two year old to "shhhh daddy's on the phone" it's a joke!)
I will say this... THANK YOU JESUS FOR MY STOCKPILE. Seriously. I mean Saturday I was at walmart processing pictures... I saw CRAZY PEOPLE with gallons and gallons of milk in their carts, emptying the soup and bread aisles. I thought, "yah right" ... we've been down here 6 years, I haven't seen more than a couple of inches which melted the next day, you know? We're not going to see any snow sticking and staying on the ground for days ! HA! ... well I was wrong. but at least I was also prepared. We haven't run out of meals to make. We haven't run out of milk be/c I usually buy four at a time since these crazies go through it so fast. We haven't run out of canned goods. We're getting dangerously low on fruit but enough to at least make it through tomorrow I think: 3 bananas and 3 apples left and also a small bag of frozen blueberries. Today we did empty the eggs be/c I made a big "breakfast for dinner" and we ran out of (randomly) pepper. However, there is still meat in the freezer (two whole chickens, ground turkey from a crazy sale, hotdogs, and an opened and unopened bag of nuggets). We still have pasta and plenty of canned and frozen veggies... we still have bread in the freezer as well as nice homemade loaves I made yesterday. So, really we're doing okay. A friend made it to the store the other day and put a pic on FB of the EMPTY meat section. Trucks just can't get in to restock the stores. I don't like being out of eggs, that's just annoying. And I don't like not having a good stash of fruit for my fruit-a-holics, but I'm really pleased with how we aren't neeeeeeeeeding to go to the store. If the milk and cereal and chicken nuggets last... I think we'll be okay.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Goals
I know everyone and their mother is posting New Years Resolutions right now. I can't even remember what I wrote about last year, sad to say, huh? (I'll probably go check that out after I post this for curiosity sake). A couple nights ago I wrote several goals down for the new year. I wont say that they are resolutions so much as just goals. Goals seem like a nicer word. Something you hope to accomplish. A resolution sounds like a must. It's something you're going to do. Well, I know myself well enough that most resolutions wont be kept. So... here are some goals I made for this new year.
1. Deliver a healthy full term baby. Definitely the first goal for the year-- however it's something I have no say over. I can do my best to give my baby the best odds: eating health(ier) choices, taking my vitamin regularly, getting enough rest, etc... but I'm not in charge of the rest.
2. Fit into the beautiful dress already purchased for my sister's wedding in June. (Just for anyone interested in the math, there is 14 weeks between the due date and the wedding date).
3. Somehow manage to accomplish singing AT that wedding.
4. Keep track of all grocery spending in excel to see percentages. (which means I still need to enter December's receipts)
5. coupon, coupon, coupon. My goal for the year is to build a 3-6 month supply of food storage in addition to stockpiling items used regularly. My first goal is grains: a 6 month supply for four people is 600 pounds of grain. (a site I have been collecting info about food storing on says you need 300 pounds of grain per person for a year worth supply, this is to provide a 2200 calorie diet) Grains include Wheat, Rice, Rolled Oats, Dried Corn, Popcorn, Flour, Pasta Products, Dried Potatoes, Quinoa, Amaranth, Spelt, Buckwheat, etc. ((psst... I don't even know what quinoa, amaranth or spelt is.)) My plain is rice, popcorn (kernels of course), dried potatoes, flour and pasta. I've been slowly adding rice packets to my cart when they are 10 for 10 and I have coupons of course, so I'll need to tally up what I have and what we need... it's really really overwhelming to look at the list of what you need for a WHOLE year for all the food items. OMG it's nuts. But I'm not going gung-ho-full-speed-ahead-nuts version. I'm planning a very slow and steady attempt to do this. Because I do believe the Bible 100%, I do believe that the end times could be upon us, are very near, and might happen in my lifetime. If they do, I'm hoping I'll be able to provide for my family when our money fails us all. Even if I don't see that happen, I can prepare for a drought in our family if Jamie were to ever (God forbid) lose his job and we'd have no income. Wont it be amazing to go to the storage room for dinner instead of the credit cards?
I derailed of course...
6. The plan for goal #2 (and beyond the wedding) is to rejoin weight watchers and work it. work it. No quitting. No excuses. Goal from restart date will be 75 pounds in 52 weeks. I did it once. I can do it again. I will do it again. I can not chase after two kids well this size, with these back problems and strain on my body--- so there is no way I can chase after three. I will find a better me in 2011. A healthier one. A version where my back isn't constantly aching and I can walk/run/chase my kiddos without being out of breath or in pain.
7. Walk. Up the walking. I can start this as soon as it's warmer, baby come yet or not. I must start walking. I need to be walking. I shouldn't be neglecting the park just next door. It's time to use it. This is the year for using the park. After the baby comes and we see where we all are health wise, I plan on making some serious exercise goals.
8. Read the Word more. Lots more. Get in it and stay in it. Goal to read--at least-- a proverb every day. I've attempted this before and it's always stopped somewhere along the way in the first month even. From today forward-- one proverb every day. Preferably in the morning to start my day "right" and hopefully set the tone for the day. I need to remember the words in Matthew (I think) that what comes out of my mouth is a reflection of what's in my heart. I want the words of my mouth each day to be nice and kind and loving and patient and honorable. That means that my heart has to be full of the word and not of the world.
9. Read 6 Jane Austin books this year. Also read at least 6 "raising boys" or Christian parenting help books. I'm currently in the middle of one called Scream Free Parenting. It's kicking my butt badly. I have a feeling I'm going to restart it once I finish it. While I don't agree with everything that is said by the author, I am convicted of a lot and have been working greatly on my REACTIONS to my childrens' behaviors/attitudes/decisions. The next one I want to get is called Grace-Based Parenting. It's referred to in Scream Free Parenting and I'd like to check it out. I'm also partway through reading The Power of a Praying Parent. I haven't picked it up in a long while and want to continue it and also maybe start it over as well. (That makes 3 of my 6 in that category... just have to actually read them).
10. I want to give every real and honest effort (insurance willing) to continue OT even with the baby coming and throwing monkey wrenches in our schedules. Matthew needs it. I need it. We as a family need it. We've seen great progress, we just still have so so far to go. I'm anxious to think about having the energy and ability to devote the attention he needs to his issues after a baby comes (crying) into our world. But I MUST commit. We have charts and stickers and his own eating calendar now. We have motivation from his therapist Jennifer to keep going. We have encouragement from family and friends that we lean on when it gets hard. And I've had it pointed out to me that God already knew Matthew's issues before he was born. God placed Matthew --with his OT needs-- in our family, in our care, under Jamie and my parenting because it was exactly where God wants him to be. God is and will continue to equip us to handle all that comes. There are times when I feel like "I can't do this anymore!" and days when I do need to tag team some help to take charge when I'm emotionally drained but, this is exactly where Matthew needs to be and God is already in complete control... And DEVIL BE WARNED, WE WILL OVERCOME BECAUSE WE ARE OVERCOMERS. My main goal in this area is to not let the Devil get me down. To not let the Devil push me around. He can't have my family dinner time as his stomping ground and play pen anymore. This is a sacred time that our family has been yearning for that Jamie and I long to no longer dread each day and it stops here. We are making headway, we will continue making headway and we will be at peace at the table with the help of Christ Jesus! .... over the weekend, we were eating dinner one night. I forget which night. And Jamie cracked a joke. I can't even remember what the joke was about. But it was awesome. We were all eating happily. We were laughing. We were loving each other. These are the things that is in store for my family and my dinner table this year. No more screaming. No more fussing. No more short order cook. We will eat dinner as a family in peace and have a loving joyful time in 2011. 2010's way of life at our table is over. And I'm so grateful for Jennifer helping Matthew overcome his issues, helping me overcome my own so that we can all enjoy each other. In September I committed to doing whatever Jennifer said for a year. And there will be hard days to come, certainly. (even last night was one) but right now I'm only looking up and I plan to keep that commitment best I'm able.
"We've been made more than conquerors. Overcomers in this life. We've been made victorious -- through the blood of Jesus Christ."
1. Deliver a healthy full term baby. Definitely the first goal for the year-- however it's something I have no say over. I can do my best to give my baby the best odds: eating health(ier) choices, taking my vitamin regularly, getting enough rest, etc... but I'm not in charge of the rest.
2. Fit into the beautiful dress already purchased for my sister's wedding in June. (Just for anyone interested in the math, there is 14 weeks between the due date and the wedding date).
3. Somehow manage to accomplish singing AT that wedding.
4. Keep track of all grocery spending in excel to see percentages. (which means I still need to enter December's receipts)
5. coupon, coupon, coupon. My goal for the year is to build a 3-6 month supply of food storage in addition to stockpiling items used regularly. My first goal is grains: a 6 month supply for four people is 600 pounds of grain. (a site I have been collecting info about food storing on says you need 300 pounds of grain per person for a year worth supply, this is to provide a 2200 calorie diet) Grains include Wheat, Rice, Rolled Oats, Dried Corn, Popcorn, Flour, Pasta Products, Dried Potatoes, Quinoa, Amaranth, Spelt, Buckwheat, etc. ((psst... I don't even know what quinoa, amaranth or spelt is.)) My plain is rice, popcorn (kernels of course), dried potatoes, flour and pasta. I've been slowly adding rice packets to my cart when they are 10 for 10 and I have coupons of course, so I'll need to tally up what I have and what we need... it's really really overwhelming to look at the list of what you need for a WHOLE year for all the food items. OMG it's nuts. But I'm not going gung-ho-full-speed-ahead-nuts version. I'm planning a very slow and steady attempt to do this. Because I do believe the Bible 100%, I do believe that the end times could be upon us, are very near, and might happen in my lifetime. If they do, I'm hoping I'll be able to provide for my family when our money fails us all. Even if I don't see that happen, I can prepare for a drought in our family if Jamie were to ever (God forbid) lose his job and we'd have no income. Wont it be amazing to go to the storage room for dinner instead of the credit cards?
I derailed of course...
6. The plan for goal #2 (and beyond the wedding) is to rejoin weight watchers and work it. work it. No quitting. No excuses. Goal from restart date will be 75 pounds in 52 weeks. I did it once. I can do it again. I will do it again. I can not chase after two kids well this size, with these back problems and strain on my body--- so there is no way I can chase after three. I will find a better me in 2011. A healthier one. A version where my back isn't constantly aching and I can walk/run/chase my kiddos without being out of breath or in pain.
7. Walk. Up the walking. I can start this as soon as it's warmer, baby come yet or not. I must start walking. I need to be walking. I shouldn't be neglecting the park just next door. It's time to use it. This is the year for using the park. After the baby comes and we see where we all are health wise, I plan on making some serious exercise goals.
8. Read the Word more. Lots more. Get in it and stay in it. Goal to read--at least-- a proverb every day. I've attempted this before and it's always stopped somewhere along the way in the first month even. From today forward-- one proverb every day. Preferably in the morning to start my day "right" and hopefully set the tone for the day. I need to remember the words in Matthew (I think) that what comes out of my mouth is a reflection of what's in my heart. I want the words of my mouth each day to be nice and kind and loving and patient and honorable. That means that my heart has to be full of the word and not of the world.
9. Read 6 Jane Austin books this year. Also read at least 6 "raising boys" or Christian parenting help books. I'm currently in the middle of one called Scream Free Parenting. It's kicking my butt badly. I have a feeling I'm going to restart it once I finish it. While I don't agree with everything that is said by the author, I am convicted of a lot and have been working greatly on my REACTIONS to my childrens' behaviors/attitudes/decisions. The next one I want to get is called Grace-Based Parenting. It's referred to in Scream Free Parenting and I'd like to check it out. I'm also partway through reading The Power of a Praying Parent. I haven't picked it up in a long while and want to continue it and also maybe start it over as well. (That makes 3 of my 6 in that category... just have to actually read them).
10. I want to give every real and honest effort (insurance willing) to continue OT even with the baby coming and throwing monkey wrenches in our schedules. Matthew needs it. I need it. We as a family need it. We've seen great progress, we just still have so so far to go. I'm anxious to think about having the energy and ability to devote the attention he needs to his issues after a baby comes (crying) into our world. But I MUST commit. We have charts and stickers and his own eating calendar now. We have motivation from his therapist Jennifer to keep going. We have encouragement from family and friends that we lean on when it gets hard. And I've had it pointed out to me that God already knew Matthew's issues before he was born. God placed Matthew --with his OT needs-- in our family, in our care, under Jamie and my parenting because it was exactly where God wants him to be. God is and will continue to equip us to handle all that comes. There are times when I feel like "I can't do this anymore!" and days when I do need to tag team some help to take charge when I'm emotionally drained but, this is exactly where Matthew needs to be and God is already in complete control... And DEVIL BE WARNED, WE WILL OVERCOME BECAUSE WE ARE OVERCOMERS. My main goal in this area is to not let the Devil get me down. To not let the Devil push me around. He can't have my family dinner time as his stomping ground and play pen anymore. This is a sacred time that our family has been yearning for that Jamie and I long to no longer dread each day and it stops here. We are making headway, we will continue making headway and we will be at peace at the table with the help of Christ Jesus! .... over the weekend, we were eating dinner one night. I forget which night. And Jamie cracked a joke. I can't even remember what the joke was about. But it was awesome. We were all eating happily. We were laughing. We were loving each other. These are the things that is in store for my family and my dinner table this year. No more screaming. No more fussing. No more short order cook. We will eat dinner as a family in peace and have a loving joyful time in 2011. 2010's way of life at our table is over. And I'm so grateful for Jennifer helping Matthew overcome his issues, helping me overcome my own so that we can all enjoy each other. In September I committed to doing whatever Jennifer said for a year. And there will be hard days to come, certainly. (even last night was one) but right now I'm only looking up and I plan to keep that commitment best I'm able.
"We've been made more than conquerors. Overcomers in this life. We've been made victorious -- through the blood of Jesus Christ."
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
It evens out somehow!
There is a reason for everything... I bought all that butter not too long ago, I'd kind of forgotten how much is in the freezer actually... And then all the chocolate today. HELLO BAKING! I've got a batch of Christmas Crack in the fridge "setting" currently (used two sticks of butter [1 c] and a bag of chocolate chips), planning on banana bread this weekend, in addition I also have about 5 doz cookies to make... I'm thinking I'm going to put a nice dent in the butter and chocolate chips recently purchased!
More on Christmas Crack tomorrow, after it's "set" and broken and we've tried it.
More on Christmas Crack tomorrow, after it's "set" and broken and we've tried it.
Friday, November 12, 2010
thinking
Just thought I'd babble on about some things. ...
these are in no particular order, just wanted to clear my head...
1. I went today and got fitted for my hearing aid. I'm choosing to move forward in this direction even though the ENT wanted me to be seen by some other kind of specialist and further investigate surgery. Because of the pregnancy and then wedding plans, I couldn't look at surgery until August and frankly, I'm really not wanting to do elective surgery that may or may not fix the problem. I was at the audiologist at length today, trying on kinds, figuring out the differences of the devices and making sure we selected the best for my particular hearing loss needs. According to the audiologist, I have a very unique hearing loss. Both ears match in certain frequencies (the lower tones) and then as the frequency increases, my left ear is well within normal range but the right ear tapers down below normal. Don't know why specifically and apparently without going to the neo-otologist, we wont be able to be told the cause without more specific testing that again right now, we're just not in a place to be able to do. They wont do the testing or surgery be/c I'm pg... so either we wait and I continue my life in frustration day in and day out for not being able to clearly hear and understand Matthew or we move forward... so we're moving forward.
2. I keep praying daily for news to come in about something that I can't post on here be/c I don't know who all reads this. Ha, sorry how's that for informative, huh?
3. I got the envelopes in the mail from Kris and Brian this week and can't wait to start working on those... I was just staring at my new calligraphy pen, which is what prompted this particular thought.
4. I can not WAIT to see my whole family soon. a week from today I will be out of my skin, as I try to pack for four people for a week away. I can't wait to spend a full week with my parents and my sister and future BIL! My boys are going to go nuts. They miss them all so much. Not a day goes by Mark doesn't ask about someone who's too far away.
5. Speaking of too far away... dang it all hawaii. ... pout... I miss my best friend so much. And I realize that we don't live in the same state normally. But I'd gladly take a one hour time difference as opposed to five or six hours apart. It sucks so badly and I can not WAIT for her to get back to the mainland.
6. I got no shopping done today. This upsets me. Friday is supposed to be my errand day... especially a pay day Friday... sigh. I am hoping to have enough energy to go tonight otherwise, it's going to have to get done tomorrow. Boooo. I have places to go and coupons to use, dangit!
7. OT update: We are now able to eat half of a peanut butter sandwich! That's right folks, we've added BREAD!!!!!! Oh I thought this day would never come! He's doing great with it though. Stalling... oh the stalling... he's turning into the king of stalling... but he's doing well when it gets in his mouth. We're still eating a carrot at each lunch and dinner. This pleases me. And we've added bread. Bread! Can you believe it, bread?! (can you believe someone is that excited about bread?)!
8. Well... I was trying to come up with enough to change this to a 10 on Friday post... but I think I'm out of rambling thoughts... so that's all. Thanks for tuning in for some updates on life at the Hobbs...
these are in no particular order, just wanted to clear my head...
1. I went today and got fitted for my hearing aid. I'm choosing to move forward in this direction even though the ENT wanted me to be seen by some other kind of specialist and further investigate surgery. Because of the pregnancy and then wedding plans, I couldn't look at surgery until August and frankly, I'm really not wanting to do elective surgery that may or may not fix the problem. I was at the audiologist at length today, trying on kinds, figuring out the differences of the devices and making sure we selected the best for my particular hearing loss needs. According to the audiologist, I have a very unique hearing loss. Both ears match in certain frequencies (the lower tones) and then as the frequency increases, my left ear is well within normal range but the right ear tapers down below normal. Don't know why specifically and apparently without going to the neo-otologist, we wont be able to be told the cause without more specific testing that again right now, we're just not in a place to be able to do. They wont do the testing or surgery be/c I'm pg... so either we wait and I continue my life in frustration day in and day out for not being able to clearly hear and understand Matthew or we move forward... so we're moving forward.
2. I keep praying daily for news to come in about something that I can't post on here be/c I don't know who all reads this. Ha, sorry how's that for informative, huh?
3. I got the envelopes in the mail from Kris and Brian this week and can't wait to start working on those... I was just staring at my new calligraphy pen, which is what prompted this particular thought.
4. I can not WAIT to see my whole family soon. a week from today I will be out of my skin, as I try to pack for four people for a week away. I can't wait to spend a full week with my parents and my sister and future BIL! My boys are going to go nuts. They miss them all so much. Not a day goes by Mark doesn't ask about someone who's too far away.
5. Speaking of too far away... dang it all hawaii. ... pout... I miss my best friend so much. And I realize that we don't live in the same state normally. But I'd gladly take a one hour time difference as opposed to five or six hours apart. It sucks so badly and I can not WAIT for her to get back to the mainland.
6. I got no shopping done today. This upsets me. Friday is supposed to be my errand day... especially a pay day Friday... sigh. I am hoping to have enough energy to go tonight otherwise, it's going to have to get done tomorrow. Boooo. I have places to go and coupons to use, dangit!
7. OT update: We are now able to eat half of a peanut butter sandwich! That's right folks, we've added BREAD!!!!!! Oh I thought this day would never come! He's doing great with it though. Stalling... oh the stalling... he's turning into the king of stalling... but he's doing well when it gets in his mouth. We're still eating a carrot at each lunch and dinner. This pleases me. And we've added bread. Bread! Can you believe it, bread?! (can you believe someone is that excited about bread?)!
8. Well... I was trying to come up with enough to change this to a 10 on Friday post... but I think I'm out of rambling thoughts... so that's all. Thanks for tuning in for some updates on life at the Hobbs...
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